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   be the light

The rest of what follows is lengthy, but it is....oh, hell "coming out of the closet" about being trapped in a Fantomas concept somehow. Metaphor. Autistic Kleptomania: the affliction that has a person taking everything literally.

This really happened and means something to me, beginning when a sound barrier between an album and my life was broken -- this is why I have gone to such lengths to make it happen (I can't make this shit up):

April 1, 2005 was the day that I entered a process of emerging from "suspended animation"...crossed a real "different" sound barrier.

April 1, 2005 is the first track on the Fantomas album "Suspended Animation" -- the album has 30 tracks -- one for each day of April, 2005. April 1, 2005 -- the day I met Chrystya. Track 1.

On track 1 -- I stepped from one world, and into the next. April 1, 2005 was the door. The world I knew before, was gone forever.

Track 2 - April 2, 2005. On track 2 -- the parallel in my life is we had our first date, to see Big Business. They were going to get the call from Buzz Osborne about becoming half of The Melvins. What I know from this point, is that Tezcat Real was actually there. It might seem like one guy standing there, but there are seven least in the studio.

APRIL 2, 2016 -- The Melvins come to One Eyed Jack's - with Jared Warren and Coady Willis, to play the anniversary of our first date -- seeing Big Business.....who is now half of The Melvins.

April 28, 2005 -- by the time we get to track #28 ..we were at The Showbox to see Fantomas live, for the "Suspended Animation" tour. ..the album that had synchronized with my lfe, and was my life since April 1, 2005 - as if Chrystya and a new Fantomas album were part of the same package deal.

Mike Patton starts with "YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF SOULLESS LITTLE WITCHES!" and proceeds with the best show I've ever seen. A Mr. Bungle is someone who has really bad manners.

I was at the merch table, and checking out the album...for the first time, I became aware of the album concept: MIKE PATTON HAD UNWITTINGLY CREATED AN ALBUM TO COINCIDE WITH THE FIRST MONTH OF OUR RELATIONSHIP!?? What? I looked at her, at Fantomas, at her, back at Fantomas -- what is going on here? Are aliens hiding behind the moon doing this? This was literally my favorite band putting out an album that coincided with TO THE DAY - exactly when my life took a 180, and EVER SINCE -- I have had the experience of "emerging from suspended animation"...I look back on that experience - it was true, because it has now been 19 years of what has become TEZCAT REAL emerging from "Suspended Animation". Fantomas is kind of like, the stepdad of my rebirth (where the son is sacrificed to the father, who is someone on the inside, and Mother is the Universe at Large)

The last 27 days since meeting her, were all tracks on Suspended Animation -- again, we met on Track 1. What makes it very spooky, is finding out about it at near the end of the album, on track 28 - April 28, 2005 -- experiencing it all live.

I look back now, considering what Tezcat Real means, it was a name which -- has a life of its own, it is all about trusting in the synchronicty. TEZCAT is the mirror of Tezcatlipoca. Real means "Royal" - the mirror of Royal Tezcatlipoca -- so.....

Like, what.....when I met Chrystya, something in me that was Tezcat Real experienced the mirror coincidence of what? What are you guys, like the Four Tezcatlipocas -- all coming together to throw me into a process of Suspended Animation?

I need to emerge from "Suspended Animation" once and for all. Oh, what is more: I was born on Oct. 14th 1981 - 34 years after Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier for the Air Force (broke wind, , air forced out the butt....sitting in a cock pit, which seems like a....nevermind) Oct. 12th, some mysterious force bucked him into 2 broken ribs. One rib for each sound barrier.


Oct. 14th 1947...I like to play like the moment of the Sonic Boom was my sky was precisely 34 years that I came out of the closet after being in there for 9 months, into a....body, at least. 0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34 -- the 10th digit of the Fibonacci spiral from the sonic boom -- me.  After 9 months of being in the closet, I finally came out.  My mom's water closet. 

My father fucked the sky and a horse bucked this guy....father as in, one of me some other time.  There are times for me many times. 

Oct. 12th 1947 -- the day Chuck Yeager was bucked from his horse -- Oct. 12th 1981 -- my mom went into labor...oct. 14th -- I broke the being born barrier.

April 1, 2005. Track 1 on "Suspended Animation" --- I meet Chrystya, and we randomly go see Chuck Yeager, a rock if to let me know - there is another sound barrier being broken - as I look back. Track 1 is a 34 second track.


Like, for the second rib -- two broken ribs, two sound barriers. One for the military -- and one for Fantomas. Mike Patton "broke the sound barrier" by creating a sound that -- broke new ground, nobody had ever made music like that before.  One rib for Isis and one rib for Nephthys.....birth of animal man and spiritual man. 


I call it Heyoka Warrior music. "This is the most ridiculous music I've ever done" he said.  You have no idea the extent, Mike Patton - my life is ridiculous....I hope you are as 1000 times more eccentric than fans would suspect, because my life is at that level of "is anyone out there?"  Me Llamo es Harry Pierpont.  Hola. 

April 1, 2005 -- Chuck Yeager is there as a band, to let us know -- "this is the second rib talking" 34 years from one rib to my birthday, 34 seconds for the other -

April 1, 2005 is 34 seconds - the door like my mom was a door at birth.  

Isis has one rib from Chuck Yeager, Nephthys has the other birth of the child, birth of the spiritual man.  


- April 1, 2005 is 34 seconds long.


Oh, I want to add....that, does this means I had sex with Fantomas? -- I mean, me..chrystya and the four, it is six.  SEX WITH FANTOMAS!  Six and Sex are the same, yeah...April 1, 2005 I started getting Fantomas to ..... oh, I won't go there. Little did I know that, 19 years later -- a Tezcat Real debut has EMERGED FROM SUSPENDED ANIMATION (a dream stuck in me since age 13-- I finally have the album to show I have arrived, if people -- go check it out!)

Clearly, you can see I've been obsessed with this...I have been keeping the faith that, in my darkest times -- I'm doing it because my favorite band started including me without any idea this was happening at all. I seem to still be in suspended animation...and, April is national poetry month.

Robert Graves says about "the poet"...the poet is a man who is in an all or nothing relationship with The Goddess -- that is She at Large, who gives "virgin birth of omen' I call it...and he is with her local manifestation, the woman in his life. The Woman and Goddess -- (where son and lover myth comes from) - at the same time, "son and lover" because that woman has been a portal. In myth, she would be the role of Nephthys -- mother/lover of the spiritual man. I'm a motherfucker of a singer...I am.

Guided by synchronicity is the same as communion with the poetry of life. I call it El Libro de la Vida y La Libra. This all or nothing condition puts "the poet" at odds with all of civilization. There is absolutely no compromise. Ordinary perception demands shutting off the inner guide that should balance with the five that, reality is only what five senses perceive -- and means whatever authority says it does -- and blind to the communion that is there for a man whose empathy is exactly equal to ambition, the inner guide as loud as the sensory world.

John Dunbar in "Dances With Wolves" is symbolic of "the Crazy New Way" -- a warrior guided by empathy and heart as much as manly warrior striving.


What I am trying to do is the crazy new way of rock music -- I want empathy equal to the sensory experience - and the audience and performer will experience entry into El Libro De La Vida -- this is the Facebook of the Dead.

April 1, 2005 -- suddenly, a different sound barrier had been broken - it is the barrier between subject and object, between here and there, between the FAKE AZTEC INVERSION and being guided to put it together -- for, Tezcat Real reflects for Tezcatlipoca.

There was this: the Aztec priests would select from captured enemy to be Tezcatlipoca - to IMPERSONATE the "god of music' -- the last 20 days of his festival - -he was accompanied by four beautiful women, and at last walked up the temple steps and broke some flutes and they ripped his heart out. This is so stupid I don't know where to start?


All Mesoamerican religion before Cortes looks to me like a bunch of Satanic inverision..... little else but cruelty and human sacrifice -- bullshit. Check this out: There are 4 tezcatlipocas -- red, white, blue (sound familiar) -- and black. Black Tezcatlipoca at war with White Tezcatlipoca -- represents physical reality at war with the spirit. This is wrong. Red and blue? those are brain hemispheres -- all of it needs to be put back right, it is all from the Goddess traditions....the priestesses -- if reversing -- or unversing the reversing -- the Aztec patriarchy.

The unversing of a reversing -would look like this...the four male tezcatlipocas and not the "god of music" but The Woman -- of music.....the woman of music, four tezcatlipocas and one Obsidian Mirror....the Tezcat....but, because of the inversions and perversions -- it has to be Tezcat Real (spanish) the Royal Obsidian Mirror (The New Moon) The Full Moon is The Rock Star -- so Tezcat Real is ANTI-ROCK STAR.   April 1, 2005 -- a half moon.  Brian Hoffmann, half man, half moon.  Brian Half Moon.  The "Hoffmann" reminds me of NOT a family.  I wish I hd a home, a family.  I wish I was dead, I have been since 1934.  Since 1876.  Everyone else deserves to have recognition for their bullshit, so ME TOO.  SPESHUL.


"They went looking for the Real America, but couldn't find her" -- yeah, real clever. Riding around the REEL WORLD -- looking for the REEL AMERICA. That is why we require this: A Tezcat Real America.

So, who won the debate? I want a real big Master Debater for precedent. I am against the world if it is against the world of the Goddess. The location of God is within the human being, anything else is The Book Of The Dead. In The Book Of The Dead, everyone identifies with a version of reality which has become reincarnated in the second dimension.

I am here in El Libro de la Vida if you want a book --- the world has a soul, and if soulless people dismiss mirror coincidences - that's pretty stupid. "That's just a mirror coincidence" -- also "that's been debunked" ..bunk is a word that means shit. Debunked means "purified" -- "that's the truth, so you can't look at it. Authority says so" ...... my broken heart is going to kill me, I have nothing to lose anymore but the opportunity to fulfill a vision -- and I see music, especially the heavy kind -- as meant to be the evolution of war beyond primitive violence.

The meaning of the sword in the stone enigma - is "the words in the tones" -- which means lyrics in the music. Everything is vibration. The least people could do to help me, IS PLAY THE FUCK OUT OF THAT ALBUM, IT IS A GIFT I WILL GIVE TO ANYONE WHO WANTS IT. God never gave me anything. Nobody would ever believe me about my childhood because you can't make it with ZERO LOVE!? Yes, I can. America = I am Care. America = I CAMERA.  Nice iPhone. 

If your country is not living up to "I am Care" -- it is not what it claims to be. Impersonation.


In-Car Nation.

Pretty White Buffalo Calf shot Custer (who the hell is pretty white buffalo calf?) - and the significance of the battle of little big horn -- it determined who America belongs to -- because of the connection with Sirius. 100 year cycles - 50 and 50 priestesses all licking each others pussies in sync....oh, nevermind.

"America" I CAMERA -- the immortal "I" records experience within the soul - have fun with iPhone...which is a camera, huh? Master Debater for president.

So, anyway-- I just gave everyone a big opportunity to make fun of how crazy and ridiculous I am -- "Mike Patton is 1000 times more eccentric than his fans would even begin to guess" - Buzz Osborne.

Good. Maybe he might be the only person who can get me out of Suspended Animation. He fucking did this to me, anyway.


Hi, I'm Brian Half Moon and my spirit animal is the thunderbird!

"GO AWAY!" Fine, I will...for six years, all alone with absolutely nobody around to give me a hug, I have to give all the hugs -

I need to not be in a situation where a thing called "family" hates me, hates me, hates me...hates me more, wrecked her health and than set me up to look bad when she died...but she kept hanging on because I gave her my life force for six years - so her brother started saying she isn't going through anything - hate me hate me hate me hate me.

Don't forget to hate me. I want to say this I AM NOT GIFTED. TALENT IS A RESPONSE TO BEING MISTREATED.

Talent is a weapon to use on behalf of The Goddess -- and so there, this was my long winded way of saying "I'm Gay" because I'm into the Goddess.

My flag is the American Flag but with the black added - in black letters, it says across the stripes:


Oct. 12 1933 - spring john dillinger. Oct. 14th 1933 - robbed a police station for guns, ammo and bullet proof vests..and five police badges.

Police! This is a stick up! Oct. 12th through 14th is some really nuts stuff going on.


Oct. 12th 1492 -- Columbus


I just gave everyone all sorts of reasons to want nothing to do with me because I am so offensive to everyone's beliefs that it is good if I get abandoned.

Or perhaps you agree with "I am Care" -- that never quits.

April 2, 2005 Tezcat Real and The Woman of music went to see Big Business just past the introductory track beginning Suspended Animation....the spell of the four Tezcatlipocas acting in harmony rather than against each other.


The Woman, Chrysytya

La Mujer

One last thing -- for a really long time, I said that I wished I was dead. Be careful what you wish for, you might find out you've been dead since 1934. Make fun of me, go for it. I love getting my heart broken. The body is the expression of the soul which experienced the electric chair with the juice turned down for prolonged and painful exit -- i relived it - and an extreme burden on my soul was moved off -- and something else came back from "Suspended Animation" -- the fear of non-existence is an extreme limitation on the levels of imagination and courage that could be the norm.

Always!! Listen to children when telling the truth: 'when I was big me and my friends went to money store and showed a lady we had guns and she gave us bags of money! why don't you have money, daddy?" that kid was not loved at all....but he never lost connection with that inner guide "I am CARE'


This is the Crazy New Way to confuse you.


Mike Patton broke the sound barrier with Suspended Animation and I need to have him call off this thing....only a new Fantomas album can save me now....because I'm trapped within suspended animation......please, I'll suck your dick....with my next album by indirect synchronicity where you are inside of my album that will be a month of your life. I'll do it!

On April 2, 2005 -- Tezcat Real got drunk and......had sex with Fantomas all over April 2005, starting with breaking the sound barrier with extreme ridiculous music on April 1, 2005. The third dimension of space, the fourth of linear time, the fifth of poetry, synchronicity, mirror coincidences.

My gender identity is a Sphere of Exploding Light at the Seventh Point of Generation within the Cube of Space.


I really had you going there.

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