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     A Tezcat Real America 

  The song which plays to you like a prayer;  it is my Will and my Testament.

     

  

The Tezcat...black mirror coincidences.  What about that invasion of the monoliths, clearly predicted in "2010: The Year We Make Contact" a sequel of 2001: Space Odyssey?  Smartphones and Stupidpeople. Come on, people....it really should be the other way around....Smartpeople, Stupidphones....can we be done with the rectangles already?  Black Obsidian absorbs that darkness which feeds on Light.  

I could be bitter about how the prior six years have gone, much of the tale is told in detail elsewhere. The main story is about how my wife got treated very, very badly during her experience with breast cancer, and it was a direct consequence of being seen, by others, to be beautiful.  She always has been the most beautiful woman when looking her best, there are only women "just as beautiful" rather than more beautiful.  Of course,  I'm talking about the world in its present condition, which tends towards ranking everything accoding to something rather shallow.  Ironically, those seen to be so lucky to be so beautiful will also tend to be among the loneliest, or find friends with greater souls who are not as easily overstimulated by the sighting of beauty.  A lot of the problem seems to be that it is because great beauty can so overwhelm others by its presence, that people will be caused to do foolish things, become distracted enough to make mistakes

Eric Burdon of The Animals said about Jim Morrison, as far as how musically talented he was, or prowess as a singer "What Jim Morrison was really greatest at was causing chaos."  Really? I have insight into this.  He 'caused' chaos because the reaction to his looks wasn't something he was going to be passive or submissive about....he fought back.  I have experienced this, and by the way, I seriously grew up believing that I was an ugly jerk, and so I was going to be great at something and develop myself.  I didn't get it that there started to be a reaction to my face....when I showed aptitude and ambition about music.  "You are going to be the next Kurt Cobain!!!" There was this expectation.....and though I was heartbroken and traumatized (music the means to save my own soul)...I'd just be hanging out and "friends" exclaim "Why the fuck aren't you out getting famous!" At 19.  \

"Kurt Cobain just got famous because he was so good looking", oh.  I always thought it was because he was focused on a goal and followed through on it, without having any intention to become a mainstream pop star as big as Michael Jackson.  The next Kurt Cobain.  Yeah, I'll get famous because of my looks and then fulfill people's expectations to get to witness reasons  to blow my brains out so I will blow my brains out.  I have a heart defect, by the way.  I didn't know what was wrong, but until about 8 years ago, I had to always punish myself about this....and when I realized this when partial heart failure struck and I could barely walk and seemed about to die, I got it.  Still, you have to be emotionally ready to really integrate something like that...and I have lots of things on my list to integrate.  Wild stuff.  Then, Chrystya was diagnosed with breast cancer.  My heart broke some more, and I walked with a cane for a while.  It got better for no reason.  "OH!! Maybe things go wrong because of not having happy feelings a lot!" 

I love feeling terrible and disappointed, you can tell because I never learned how to work because everyone does everything for me and I want attention.  I want a tension in my heart all the time.  Did you know? A person with a heart defect has something relax because of drinking alcohol.  Drinking is actually a good idea in my case, and of course if I have one beer at your house, go "hey, make sure you're okay to drive!"  I need to start socking dudes in the stomach without hesitation.  I have an edge because pretty boy isn't a tough guy...and when pretty boy turns out to be ferocious and from hell, ALL of the opponents self-confidence vanishes in an instant.  If things get confrontational, I use "the voice" which can be heard in the songs.  I say the craziest most violent shit I can come up with, using "the voice"....and on the other side of that, it's being really fucking afraid of me, sudden paralysis of will.  

 

Since it's my moment, I had it come back to me that on Oct. 17th, 1934 -- I was executed by electric chair...which is supposed to be quick and painless...that's the cover story.  No need to get into why I was looking at the very article from 1934 reporting the execution, when I first saw it I suffered an emotional cataclysm...I was howling, really upset...cried for a couple of hours.  That took me by surprise....and, that...ladies and gentlemen, is how you will know rather than entertaining speculative fantasy about the subject of "it doesn't have a word yet". Faking my own death.  Harry Pierpont.  Who? I really don't hide anything at all if you listen to the music.  The implications lead to "funniest thing possible"...if you wait long enough, your tragedies will be realized as hilarious.  In other words, pain is funny. 

If you really have it out for someone, you turn down the juice and it is extremely painful.  My heart held out for 20 minutes.  "Did a professional tell me this?" Yes, a professional bank robber.  That is why I'm either still dead or I never died, or was in suspended animation until I could "sacrifice the son to the father", how about I ruin 4000 years of religion while I'm at it. Come  Basically, three years ago something that was in "Suspended Animation" came roaring back...and since the body is an expression of the soul...my soul was carrying a heavy load from the experience with the electric chair.  Things like that can really compromise a person, and don't make your mind up about a person, entirely...you never know when how much they really can be was taken by the electric chair, because they warden was extremely pissed off about the attempted escape from death row, with soap guns.  God gave me that gift, to make exquisitely realistic soap guns. 

 

Got shot seven times and survived.  That's right, there were seven bullet wounds in me already.  Ride the lightning.  I would encourage people to take seriously what themes are in children's creativity.  My childhood art had guys with their eyes popping out of their sockets....like my Easter Bunny that was pretty much the same thing as Mr. Bungle's early demo "The Raging Wrath Of The Easter Bunny".   My Easter Bunny turns out to be Harry Pierpont, he was put in the closet so it wouldn't be seen by the other parents.  "Where's my Easter Bunny".  In the closet?  Yeah...my parents can go fuck themselves, they were not pleased.  I was crying.  It was awesome and worth it.  So it appeared to be an Easter Bunny with a machine gun, eyes popping out of the sockets, puking blood.  If the teacher didn't go out of her way to hurt me so I could cry and then get shamed about it, I wouldn't have such a memory of a Raging Wrath Of The Easter Bunny contribution.  1988, first grade.  This was my way of sending the information to future Brian.  "Holy Shit,  it's the leader of the Dillinger Gang in the electric chair!!  In the closet, not in the hall with the "not evil" kids bunnies, and I had red hair, also.  Satan colored.  The cops couldn't find Harry Pierpont after he busted out of Michigan City, etc. "Glamour boy", they called him...going around and checking in closets as a likely place to find him.  So, now that I'm coming out of the closet with my gender identity "leader of the Dillinger Gang", I expect the entire nation to root for me, just like in the good ol' days when we were folk heroes.  Coming out of the closet sounds to me like pulling out and letting her have it...."take that, and that!"  Did you know that inter is a word that means "to place a corpse in a tomb or grave"?  Intersex.  My sex life is a corpse for six years..does anyone get that sex and six mean the same thing? Between 5 and 7?  Sex change to SEVEN.  If we do a seven, we won't be halving sex and ending up with three.  A baby.  The subconscious mind hears what you don't listen to.  People take advantage of this fact.  

 

I have to talk about Harry Pierpont with the heart defect.  I could really have my life cut short by sudden heart attack, I've got some time.  I think about that, and the possibility of dying without the world having  the opportunity to know about how faking your death works.  AI and technology will ...conquer death, merge with your computer!!!  That is why this is necessary.  Artificial Intelligence when we have....well, should have Actual Intelligence. 

 

So, God didn't give me a fucked heart to punish me because Satan.  It's not from "creating my own reality", or that I should "be positive, not negative"  in other words, delete your memory, only look ahead".  REALITY CO-CREATES WITH YOU. That's right, and because the body is the expression of the soul.....my soul has a really big dick, I guess.  I think it's funny that this kind of information will trigger a guy to spread it.."look how crazy!"  It won't backfire.....

 

The electric chair can do that...make eyes pop out of their sockets, or your eyes just explode.  Doesn't it take about 20 minutes for "The Man" to burn at Burning Man?  About that...if people think they need ritual, they should get to be informed about it.  It's actually "The Son" or "The Sun" both at the same time.  "The Man" is really....Saturn....the man burning the son.  The Father. If people want me to really get into it, we built The Clock in 2011.  There's your counter (clock) culture (ruled by clock) revolution.  Watch the revolution play out on the wall sometime.  You might also experience the Second Coming. "We can never know the minute and the hour of the second coming", is anything more hilarious?

Well, my name is Burning Man and with this message, I hope to arrange a small army of smokin' hot babes, just like in movies from the '80s.  "The Son, sacrificed to The Father".  My father is the one who precedes me, the son was sacrificed to him.  In other words, I guess I'm still Harry Pierpont, because I was here FIRST, Brian Hoffmann.  Oh, was my wife's brother going to get me to kill myself? Done.  What now?  Get the world to go nuts about this story of a woman having a bad man exploit and use her?  Her brother seems to have no idea about feminists out there...just waiting for something like this.  Her brother is REALLY into Donal   I've noticed the times are tailor made for my agenda.....oh, what happens to my gender identity now?  I'm a pretty boy who other women call a girl with a huge dick and a Thompson submachine gun and what I've accomplished kind of sets the bar for Macho Hardcore Champion....of course, you could choose to not believe it and pretend to have an important influence on my confidence.  

   

 

I can't talk about a heart defect without mentioning this, because I know it will turn into some other reason that I   

 

I witnessed surgeons assume ownership of her body, which was due to her looks, and push her into having surgeries she should not have and didn't need, such as DIEP flap rebuilds....which came with cutting into her abdomen for tissue.  "You're a good candidate for that", actually no...she wasn't.  Since she is beautiful, her body wasn't hers to make decisions about.  Also, I look like I do, so don't consult with the stupid little boy, either.  Surgery is worth money.  That is a hell of a lot worse than ordinary rape.  Have you heard about pretty privilege? Oh, and the worse it gets for Chrystya and thinner she got from chemotherapy -- it's not other people betraying the innocent, but she must have done drugs and thinks only negative thoughts and wants to have cancer and be a victim and she's making it up about cancer. 

 

I have to take it easy, because I don't recover from exertion as quickly as normal hearts do.  When the body is ravaged, the spirit grows stronger. I was born with a literally broken heart to parents who couldn't give a shit about me at all past the point I made them look good so they could get the attention they want, which turned into believing The Lord actually had Abraham follow through on sacrificing Isaac, his son (who is 25 years old in "History of the Jews" by Josephus.  "and The Lord showed him there was a ram in the bush"  Yeah, rammin' the bush, baby.  Abraham sacrificing the eldest son to The Lord to prove his obedience became a staple bedtime story starting when I was 3.  I am astonished at siblings from the same family who remember just about zero before the age of 13, when I am not made to split off and forget.  In fact, I'm doing so well psychologically because I never had a hard time like others did, because I get to be good looking.  My "brother" said that shit to me.  No, it's the soul of a champion, and it is earned, not given.  No gifts but the ones I am offering.  

My dad seems to actually hallucinate that the Bible says Abraham killed his son, instead of being stopped before he could, just to see if Abraham was enough of an asshole to deserve some "rammin' the bush". 

 

....because it upset them so much that I had the amount of strength of will and spirit that I had from having this soul which already had been around for a long time...this is what people need to get and start being better to each other, when accepting that we are all at our own stages of evolution --- which I guess reflected back to them, on the unconscious level something like "when I was that age I caved into the pressure to obey a person who didn't deserve to be answered to after being mean to me.  Brian has taken so much punishment I'm extremely afraid of myself now because he made me go way, way too far and then I didn't and he acts like the reason he won't obey me is because I hurt him.  I try to abandon him so that he will feel desperate for me and he just acts like he's enjoying his own company.  Brian makes me realize that it is because I am so weak that I betrayed myself and decided to be obedient againt my own true nature so I could get approved for obedience and not be terrorized anymore, and I gave up on being truly myself and started living for other people to see and approve of, which made me a person who cannot experience love of a beautiful woman like he came over with one day, and we just couldn't believe it!! Why is SHE with HIM??? He's just a little boy!!! I should treat the woman who loves him like she isn't worth anything, obviously or she wouldn't choose Brian.  He doesn't know how to work! (That I created Tezcat Real entirely by myself testifies to that). 

 

 "I wouldn't realize I was weak until he showed me how he can take all the punishment, and not stop being himself.  Oh, now all the neighbors are upset because Brian ruined their Sunday with his snowman that looks like it is supposed be his dad, with a butcher knife plunged into its chest and he squirted ketchup and red food coloring all over the snow for snowman blood."  I was such a bad kid.  B-b-b-b-b BAD.  I was that bad.  

The need for revenge was always there to make the most out of what turned out to be a fucking heart defect.  "Did a doctor confirm this for you?"  That's what it would be if I was telling a group of people about it who could experience my "next Kurt Cobain face" and scientifically determine that unless authority found this out for me, I d  (doesn't have a big hole out the top of my head, yet)  

 

 feminine power, what is feminine is the power to attract, to seduce...receptivity, listening and 

 

The loneliest people have to find a way to 

 

 They wish people would relate to their character and intelligence and sense of humor, like how they tend to look out at the world.  After all, and what people don't seem to get a lot of the time...is that the very person being looked at as the most beautiful....is not looking at herself or himself....unless there are mirrors, of course.  Beauty is expected to maintain being beautiful....it is to exist for others' experience of you, and there is nothing wrong with beauty, as far as I can tell.  

 

 I know her a lot more than 

 

 ...multiple pages of what amounts to being the most I can manage to contribute to humanity, all in one shot.  One big moment of SURPRISE!!!  Actually...I almost feel at peace with things.  Why? Where I am at and able to be right now is a consequence of the whole process, I can look back and see how what we are to accomplish would not have been possible without it.  Strangely, the good is  the  The things I know, and that I would even be to even be able to know what I now know is nothing short of miraculous. I propose to communicate some of it, and this is what comes along for the ride of sharing the story of how it was that there was a prolonged attemped murder of my wife which has failed...due to underestimating Chrystya's wil to live.  The Will within her.

There is a major problem which her brother created for himself, which was failing at his objective and leaving a very intelligent and formidable witness that knows everything because of experiencing what he did...and I've always known that the moment will come to turn it around - and why should people be interested in giving time and energy to reading about our drama and misfortune?  Actually, I have become gifted...which means I have a lot of gifts to give everyone....committed to accepting them, that is.

 

Lead by example....and may youcompare how we deal with things when contrasted to every competitor in the "victim Olympics" ...and they all get a trophy for being special, by default...just like in real soccer (whatevver childhood is supposed to be these days).  Identity?  Champion warrior....never surrender, never stop fighting.  Sometimes, the only tactic worth anything is having to wait.....and debt accrues for those who have wronged us (Chrystya and I and all human beings). 

 

Every time the innocent and vulnerable are exploited due to their incapacity to fight back according to circumstances beyond their control, the person who has violated the boundaries of others with the intention to hurt, betray, steal, molest and murder has created a situation of debt for themselves.  When this occurs, it turns into a situation in which the victim of wrongdoing should be burdened with the debt as well.  In other words, you totally deserve to have me hurt you, forever and eternally. 

 

When a person looks beautiful to others....there is an expectation to be beautiful, the trouble starts when the person seen to be beautiful by others has come from a very difficult  upbringing, experiencing some great misfortune, etc.  This is where the trouble starts...it's like "you are supposed to be beautiful because you get to be beautiful because you are lucky and now you must be crazy and terrible and a total idiot and a ridiculous child and undeserving and unworthy of love", as if the opportunity to have it all was thrown away, just to show contempt for everyone else....who, if not getting to be beautiful....their reward is that they get to be smart, responsible, be in positions of authority, get to own houses and corporations, get to know maturity and what it is to go through life not needing everyone to give you attention all the time".     

 

She is seen by someone looks at her...she has immediately fallen beneath the other who has "given attention".  She has not asked to be given attention....ah, but yes she has.  Her appearance DEMANDS attention.  So other people get something in return.....ownership. 

 

The world conspires against her to hide the crimes of the criminals, with shit like this: "really beautiful people have it made.  How could you have a hard time like the rest of us?"  Beautiful people are seen to always be "getting attention".  Is it asked for? No.  How masculine-feminine dynamics of consciousness and perceptino operate, goes like this: the third dimension of space is masculine relative to the second dimension, which is feminine.  This has nothing to do with all the bullshit going on these days. The second dimension is an image without depth. 

 

A photograph is receptive to the attention of the person looking at it, but is not ever going to give anything.  When people allow lose their center of gravity,   "It is better to give than recieve" is about gender qualities of spacial dimension.   If you are seen as beautiful, you are to often be treated as if you might as well be a photograph, as shallow as a photograph.  A photograph has no will of its own, it cannot make choices.  It is an object, to have be done with it what someone else wants.  A photograph has no voice.  

 

It happened to my wife that, while even GOING THROUGH CHEMOTHERAPY...that if she is so beautiful in this photograph, obviously she is doing just fine.  Doesn't everybody know that beautiful people just want attention?  Even the demonstration of having depth, wisdom and ambition -- unconscious beliefs determine that there will be more sightings of attempts to get attention. 

I created Tezcat Real just because I want to be famous.  You can tell by how people see that I am beautiful that I should not be taken seriously.  My protest is seen for what it really is, just another way to 

get attention....so the right thing to do, if I should say "you attempted the murder of my wife, creating stress, heartbreak and fear is the murder weapon.  You were spreading hateful gossip about me, simultaneous to this, as if setting me up to be punished for another person having caused my wife to die.  You were going to cause me to commit suicide, and that is because in the event of Chrystya's death...her share of the estate that WE DO NOT EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT will go to me.  Why go to the trouble of making Chrystya succumb to breast cancer if I'm going to get her share that you wanted?  The only way that it goes back to the EXECUTOR, is if I should die.  It is obvious that if Chrystya died, I wouldn't want to live anymore. It will be easy to cause Brian to commit suicide by making it so that everyone believes that Chrystya could have overcome breast cancer (which would only be the truth of what she was dealing with after death) if Brian would have cared about anything besides just getting attention.  Look, he is making music when....(ooh wait, she's pretending to have cancer...scratch that tactic).  

I don't think so.  I have solutions to unusual problems...and as it goes, who would ever believe me when I tell the truth?  It is so unlikely and absurd that of course I'm making it up to get attention, you can tell by how beautiful someone's face is that they make things up.  The prejudice which has had us suffering from discrimination...and entirely unacknowledged, is being too cute.  My wife was too cute for cancer, when she looks beautiful she doesn't have cancer!! I'm as pretty as she is so, I'm just like she is....an irresponsible and undeserving child....rather than dedicated to her and being protective of her when she is caused health problems with deliberately created stress..which is to be violent to her.  

 

You want to know about "pretty privilege  

This is clear to me now, what the intentions have b

and communicate what I can see into and realize, it is because I attended six years at a highly prestigous "Shaman School" which has been within myself, in our unit of a complex constructed over the burial grounds of Native Hawaiians.  Something about being here has made it so that regularly, I've had information seem to well up from my depths..like "you've got mail!"   Often, it has been information which fills in the blanks between things I didn't know how to connect together, or what the next step should be, memories from way too long ago 

 

At the start of my "educational program", something else was in my room...it was annoying, and it was awful.  It was one of those mysterious shadow things that you don't see, ather than experience...it wants to "jump" into you and feed on your Being somehow, interfere with and hijack your process...it is hard to describe.  We dealt with it by purchasing Black Obsidian Spheres....they absord and purify an area of shadowy things, I have proven this to myself that it works. 

 

I've felt to be the only person on Earth who simply stopped being interested in having a phone, once the flip phones gave way to all these annoying rectangles that are way bigger than pocket sized...I suppose that is why people have been finding them to be "hold them in my hand all the time instead" sized.  The Black Mirror Coincidences are as if meant to cause a mimicry of the organic experiences of synchronicity, which is what is actually poetry. 

As if poetry only becomes re

 

....it's been an invasion, I tell you. We don't need surFacebook.  FaceBook of the Dead, is more like it...what do we do? Tezcat....the new rectangle.  Obsidian mirror. Did you know, that when lava really wants to rock out for everyone, it becomes obsidian?  Tezcat Real rocks out pretty hard, not like anyone would notice.  Black Mirror Coincidence. They are each a Tezcat. That which is ROYAL....Tezcat Real.  

 

 That which is REAL is not pronounced "REEL" , and because of that opportunity...."They went looking for the Real America, but couldn't find her...." yeah, whatever,  Peter Fonda.   Were they traveling on the highways and byways of the Reel America? It seems that had been intended......and it went over the audience's heads, didn't it. The Reel America! Well, you aren't going to find America riding around the Second Hand World world of The Artificer. 

 

Those Easy Riders certainly showed us, in a subdued  way.....in the SubDude way, that it should always be a compromised mission, should anyone set out on that journey to find the Real America, because the Reel Thing is always going to come to interfere, as soon as people start talking about it.  What must we do, America?  She whispered to me, subtly and not without a little bit of gravitas in her breath.... "Tezcatlipoca....." 

 

Yet, when looking down that avenue.....it's a major bummer, man....it just gets completely horrendous and incredibly wicked...and it appears to me...it is all far too often...simply routine,  all about the breathtaking cruelty which the Aztecs were into, the human sacrifice rituals were to appease and please "the gods" (elite), and Tlaloc, the Rain God (Blue Tezcatlipoca?), he was all about inflicting cruelties on children, for Chrissakes.....so that he could......collect their tears in a bucket.  Whatever. 

The whole Mesoamerican culture that existed before the arrival of Cortes......was really quite demented and terrible.  Now....I went into this assuring myself that I would recognize those certain patterns which go along with a wholesale mythological inversion and perversion of all the gods and archetypes...and I would put thing

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