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     My Will and Testament 

This track is a prayer for her and for America simultaneously, who I consider a Goddess.  (which one?) lyrics after some paragraphs. We pray for you, with you....for the sake of an experiment, see what happens when it spreads around. 

The above picture is a beautiful woman, yes?  She got real skinny from not eating.  How could she be going through what she claims? (With women like that you have to decide for them what is really going on, because of them being so stupid they don't even know all they want is attention, and there is no unwanted attention. She'll claim to have cancer to get attention. "Stop it! Leave me alone!"  ha ha ha! Yeah, right. Look at her, so beautiful, childish and irresponsible that she can't do anything but just want attention.  The beautiful ones are always crazy, obviously she would do something like just pretend to be going through cancer to get attention! What a jerk.  We have been wronged in the most severe ways....and the way I'm looking at it, when a person acts on an intention to hurt someone who is innocent and vulnerable, debt is created.  The debt is MASSIVE so, please......spread this prayer for America and think absolutely nothing about any tension I need.  I mean attention.  Whenever I hear "attention" I translate "erection" (a tension) and consider the truth of any statement with "attention" in it, from that point of view.  "You just want a boner from me!"  Is this me getting a boner all by myself, and show you I'm aroused by you, too, so you feel less ashamed?  "Stand at attention, soldier" Uncle Sam shaves his privates.  I have enough TENSION because of a HEART DEFECT.  


I get social security.  So?  I am not ashamed of having a heart defect kick me out to the edge of life, if anything....what I've accomplished is that much more impressive.  It's going to kill me, at some point.  I've hard my heart malfunction twice now....the last time I needed a cane for half a year.  People see me and I have a cane to get attention with because I want attention if you look at me and I don't give a shit if you look at me. 

This is how I kept my mind off the horror of years of what my wife was enduring, and her Passion for this is what she admitted to me, was worth a lot to keep fighting.  What people don't know is that her "family" has done everything to sabotage her...and at the moment, it seems her brain-damaged "brother" is plotting against us with OUR neighbors (he couldn't bother to visit for any other reason than to spread falsehoods about her "pretending to have had a recurrence of cancer, and I'm violent to her).   Deliberately causing stress to wreck her health is being violent to her. 


I've been like a human battery to give power to her to not succumb...and, if a demonstration of having a very, very deep well of spiritual energy is needed, play the track above.  I'm not taking no for an answer, so I ended up going far enough that I did it my damn self.  I don't need recognition about being capable of that.....this is a prayer for people to learn this example.  As far as needing recognition would probably surprise people to know that NOT being recognized has been the most important thing.  Now, I come out of the closet -- which I went to pray in...."if you must pray, do it in the closet", we pray and play at the same time.  I still think coming out of the closet sounds like "pulling out".  


There has been an attempted murder, which was supposed to follow with my I just found out this "Will" --  if Chrystya dies, I would get her share of the Estate (I don't give a shit about).  I have been waiting, and waiting....until now.  That was something I needed....a clear motive so my accusations are not so much speculation.   I have never considered myself a member of Chrystya's biological family -- and what people need to understand is that I'm seeing things as comprehensible only from the perspective of being caught up in what...uh, shamans have to deal with.  I am not a hippie.  I want Chrystya to have a real family, and a real brother.....or actually Tezcat Real Family and Brother....because otherwise REAL is pronounced REEL.  Tezcat ray-AL...okay?  THIS IS MY WILL AND MY TESTAMENT....I am not attached to anyone's paper "will"...the lack of a True Will means envy of mine, and all this greed and betrayal we have experienced...from the Executor of "the Will".  So, let's unleash mine.  

This song was originally "DiaGnosis" until amputating the first two minutes because I got really carried away with the Rhodes keyboard..and so I made rippin' right out of the gate.  The intention for the music, rather than wanting stupid attention, is that if there are prayers for Chrystya, let me handle it...and include her voice.  You can play it and pray with it.   The message need not make sense to others, I know what it's about and so does the collective unconscious......let it vibrate your world. 


This is how to pray for others that they may have this example of what prayers could and should be, prayers by music players...and it features Chrysty's voice, which must be heard expressing these seeds of manifestation.  With all the stress, this is what I is the one track we have which she prays with me so much.  This recording can not be redone, because she had an experience of reliving something from a long time ago.....I captured it, the yowls which are hers are in there as something extremely important to us both.


Six years of isolated thinking, I'm in another galaxy....come, join me.  The lyrics are presented for your cooperation....a marriage of the 2nd and 3rd dimensions, relative to each other.  FE-minine mascu-LINE....that is FELINE, got it? Chrystya Cat....Warrior Queen of Cats.  Or should she be the loss of status from cancer? War On Cancer has been a war on my wife.  Wake up to the use of bad poetry to manipulate us all into the acceptance of a Second (Dimension) Coming. 


 I want her to know a family. Those people who have wrecked her health as much as possible with stress are not her family.  They are impersonators of a family.   This is no Impersonator.  I am a screen, not the man.  Keep that in mind.   Oh, Harry Pierpont is an interesting subject.  Do a search.  

the grand poet tree told you what it's about

the battle of the rosebud erotic war

one fine day I turned myself into the authorities

now you cannot push me around

turned myself into Aware Wolf, too

because we're having fun


oh, is that not what you meant?


You wanted to see me get in trouble?

well....I don't think so

Sexually inferior little big man

mama never let you go

I have sacrificed flesh and pain

to demote the designs of beast 666

no Crowleymas or Columbus Day anymore

Those Great Breasts 777

Uncovery of America


yet the 7th Cavalry lost THE WAR

jaguar constellation

seven knocks at the door

the battle of Little Big Horn was a dark ritual

that failed

it's a stain


Pretty White Buffalo

could not be contained

I cannot be moved away

from the center of life inside my skin

7th inning stretch

the connotation of hot dogs peanuts and beer


12th of October we celebrate

the crazy horse that bucked chuck yeager

off into two broken ribs and sound barriers


Robert Johnson met Jimi Hendrix at the crossroads

full moon 1935

another body of your life

Michigan City Prison Break

son of America makes a mockery

out of little big boys

first spring Dillinger

on 12th of October

twice in one week

you knocked police station over

for all their guns

all the ammunition and

hit the bank across the street

from the police station



hearing is healing


dis uncovering

my will has spoken

gates of the dawn

are opening


lightning strikes again

we're running past

the face of stone


to meet the woman of the ocean

she wants to meet you

she wants to greet you open the seal

of the ceiling


the song is rushing you forward

lightning strikes again


we only had to make it to the bottom and

the star is upright again

comfortable inn

comfortable in my skin

I can do anything

anything I want to do


love will endure the manifest myth of Persephone
a wrecked angel will enter the realm of the rectangle

a jaguar's constellation guides us to our safety

protecting us from sabotage

daybreaks the spells of resets on done sunsets

fifty stars reinstate the original wheel of twelve


sometimes I'll see a sign that tries to tell me that

"you are here" possessing me and I say



I am HERE and YOU!! are THERE!!!

history ends where mystery begins



I hear they swore an oath to protect

a rectangle called the constitution

but what about your own

stand at the center of the crossed rose

in her section



I swore an oath

that keeps me going beyond death

to remain loyal to the truth

would you endure anything for the sake of love

is it me verses the world when I say

I would abandon a pile of rectangles

if I was forced to choose

between a pile of rectangles

and stopping the abuse of a child

your shadow is your friend

that can go to the second dimension

this you that's on the floor and four walls

and sometimes on the ceiling


that's a pretty good lookin' silhouette right there

is all you gotta say to make your shadow

proud to be attached to you

we call the world into being

where we realize

consciousness is omnipresent

even in the shadow who loves you

they treat their shadow like

it's a hole

that's exactly the same

shape as themselves

where everything they don't like

can be thrown in that hole and the shadow might get angry

about being attached to a fool

a fool who gave it enough of itself

to give it a spurious autonomy

it declared mutiny

why the second dimension

takes precedence

and makes presidents

serve the agenda of rectangles

the disc was once a sphere

there is an explosion of light

and there's a diameter for the circumference

unzipping the infinite

same way a flag turns into a flying eagle

goodbye Fake America


I have made it to the other side

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