It should have never been anything to be cruel to her about, the above picture was taken when she was going through an intense course of chemotherapy....she would sleep for three days in a row, hardly eating.  I recall that during this period, that if I might go to the effort to cook a meal for us both, I could expect that she wouldn't show much of an appetite for it.  Again and again "I made lunch" or "I made dinner!" Of course, I could do just about nothing to steer her away from whatever OCD adventure she might be involved with.....the most popular was checking the oven for roaches, endlessly.  Good god, and those days were terrible and full of sorrow. These were the bleak and lonesome times that she was so deep in chemo and they add steroids, to offset the weakness.....and she probably remembers very little of that very sad time.  I was on my own as she often hovered near death, yet would embark on these OCD trips which involved her experiencing a constant and very frustrating tendency to hallucinate all sorts of stuff.  "Look! It's more of the new species of cockroaches!"  No, those are actually grains of brown rice that fell on the floor, but....if it makes chemotherapy more fun to KNOW about all these things going on, I sure experienced that it was utterly pointless to be her ground in reality, where those are just flecks of dirt, Chrystya. 

I recall sitting in the living room, feeling like I could almost SEE that death was like a swarming cloudlike thing, as if it were a million tiny flies.....she was haunted, that is for certain.  As you can probably gather....they were about the most sad and helpless times I've ever endured.....and you better believe that I was deeply worried that, any day I could lose her.....and, because this was her severe recurrence... I was simply terrified and also......very much alone.  For six years now, it has been this incredible and impossible struggle to get through it, and what was making it far, far worse was (and still is) the situation with her "brother", but he certainly doesn't deserve to be recognized as one....some Impostor inhabits him, it seems.....and being insane, he gets to be the Executor of The Will!!

This is where it all gets truly and astoundingly pathetic.  That picture of her, up top...he cannot seem to realize that she can certainly LOOK beautiful in a photograph, and so what?  At the time....as he has been all the time, he behaved as if it is his extra special place to decide on the meanings of things for us....really seeming be getting high from looking down on us, looking down on me.  She was just making it all up because she doesn't want to WORK!!  That is something about himself that he can point at for a demonstration of his superior position in life....and look at me!

What a loser I was also.....just wants to make things up about going through a recurrence of breast cancer.....I guess a lot of this is all to do with how he has absolutely no clue whatsoever that....when acting competitive with me...against me, he only has gone out of his way to make it very clear that he was an infantile and perverted creep....and still, what we had going on and were suffering through was only our business and never had anything to do with him, at any point or for any reason. 

He had absolutely no business interfering with us.....because it was important to him that he might succeed in what he had earlier failed to accomplish, which seemed to be about "pushing her over the edge" at a time that he knew she was he most fragile and able to die from a reversal of health caused by all the stress he could manage to create for her......and, the guy is so absolutely creepy and dismally stupid that this is probably about his jealous lust for his sister...because I have gotten to fuck his sister so many times, which is what you do when a woman is your lover....rather than your sister......and all the violations of her boundaries have been exactly equivalent to rape....you know that anyone aligned with him is definitely a rapist or someone who likes to punish those who recognize them and stay away from them, which is us.  Oh, do I recognize something disgusting in you?  Now that this is being broadcast, are Hells Angels going to come and admire the amount of money that you have to hoard in a pile and behave as if it really can substitute for any actual growth of a soul....and, boy! Do I ever remind those who really and truly know how cowardly and pathetic they are for never being able to show some actual masculinity and work towards a dream? No, that is what I do....and I also don't want or even seek out anyone's approval or disapproval...but, oh.....here come the parental  

, so that she might have a reversal of health and it would go into a downward spiral....and I was in shock that he was even going for it....the attempted MURDER of his sister, as she fought for her life. Not only that, but how beautiful she was in the photo....basically he treated it like it was his pornography......same as the naked photo of Chrystya taken at the most sad moment of her entire life, which was immediately after surgery to remove her breasts, for the SECOND time in her life. Rob went crazy at this time, I should expect that he would have been routinely masturbating to the photo of his sister around then, she was naked and mutilated.....and it may sound crass -- but needs to be exposed, that he was reacting to this photo with horrid enthusiasm, as if what really made him rock hard was the black eye she was sporting, which was due to the sad fact that in the weeks, days leading up to her surgery....she was the most terrible fall risk.  Goddammit, was it ever sad...and, do Rob's parents do anything to stop him from reacting with sadist sexual excitement towards his sister's black eye mutilation porn?  No, they always seem to totally love it whenever Rob does something to prove to me over and over again that he is the farthest thing from being a man, and of course it was always about his sick and perverted need for attention.   He was going to take everything away from me, starting with Chrystya's self-esteem, if not her life.  Attempted murder.  

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His original problem that he caused for himself was being completely obvious about his intention to murder his sister with whatever he could manage....and, guess what?  Why the fuck was he calling and asserting authority over her body, asserting authority over OUR relationship?  I'm sure that he "knows" that if six years of this have gone by, he has established dominance !!! He is the biggerer man than me, because he can be a millionaire and show me how I can't do anything to make him stop, because if I were to fight back, he would find ways to terrorize Chrystya....and her parents LOVED it.  If I think I get to stick up for my wife and even myself, it will be all my fault when Chrystya dies...because I'm his bitch....make one move, and Chrystya gets it.  You really have got to admire the strength of character and manly courage that it takes to make a point of terrorizing his helpless and extremely vulnerable sister.  He obviously has molested before, it is easy to gather who that would have been.  Good for you, Rob.  You can overpower and overwhelm her like she is a child, who deserves to be raped to prove to us all that Rob is a Big Deal, he knows 

...and caused himself a definite situation.....,..it was a major blunder on his part that he totally underestimated Chrystya's will to survive....no matter how awful things got.  It has been six goddamn years of him being allowed to behave however he wanted towards Chrystya and I.....