top of page

I suppose that somehow, our souls volunteered for this mission, which is why I have a huge background in the study of creatures such as this.  More than a personal problem, our lives are your opportunity to learn some useful knowledge from us, about a  situation that is holding the human race back.  I have solutions, that may be considered unique and well thought out, hopefully.  

Abandonment of the ability to feel begets illegitimate authority.   


I'd like to imagine that I used myself as a decoy to lure it in order to study it's habits and mating rituals, so that others may benefit in their own lives from my field notes and am going to make sure nothing like this is ever attempted with me/my wife ever again. 

This page was created to expose the crimes and violence perpetrated against Chrystya during her battle with cancer, which has been her family.  She has stage 3B cancer, and having her breasts cut off for the SECOND TIME didn't remove the cancer, it's in her skin and trying to metastatize and kill her.  She is going through chemotherapy, which is a nightmare...while her family has shown her zero love or support, and has been treating her like she's making it up and refuses to listen about Dr. Riker's botched surgery in New Orleans being the cause of this, which is affirmed by doctors here. We have a lawsuit, and all they have done is add huge amounts of stress to our lives, obviously wanting to cause the situations they accuse us of, block us from being able to move forward with the lawsuit, because the fact of the matter is that they would actually see us be deprived of our freedom and right to pursue our destinies.....and they are going to throw a huge tantrum about how things actually work out for them. 


Just after her major surgery on Oct. 23, I put up a donations page, because having your breasts cut off for the SECOND TIME is obviously the saddest thing in the world, all that surgery for nothing. (including botched abdominal, now a completely useless surgery).  They actually managed to make it even way the hell more sad, when raging against the donations page, as it proves how irresponsible we are...that we "don't want to work", it was "so irresponsible to get cancer"....wait, hold on a minute, don't tell me what to do ever again. 


It was real nice to get us to move to Maui, after pushing really hard for my wife to accept their offer of a condo....then they harassed her about it, used it to play constant games, kept threatening to kick us out while supposed to be getting peace and quiet....but no, her energy is constantly stolen to go to their need for they make sure to slander us to whoever, that I am only using my wife to get attention...oh, and get her parents money, which I have seen none of yet.....but that doesn't stop them from telling people that we have been being given lots of money, and, last but not least......we finally were able to piece together this situation, judging by the texts, etc.  informing me of "being willing to work and have a job with health insurance so I can take care of my wife by myself"---go away, I have been, this whole time....while being attacked and seeing the abuse escalate, as if were supposed to fail? Oh my god, they have been telling people that she had to have her parents pay all of her medical bills, which is a huge sum of money....(and this is why we get regarded with contempt by people they talk to).....Gee, that's great, because we have had our insurance pay for everything, and their lie is the justification for trying to sell Chrystya's home out from under her, while she goes through chemotherapy. Read on, as I show you what lives under the rocks, which will turn into a gift of knowledge from us to you, paid for with Chrystya's suffering.    Multiple pages. 

The guy in the picture is Robert Johnson, who is the rightful "authority" over my wife's body, (he elected himself), and also the "authority" over her feelings (they are what he says they are), the "authority" that determines for her, without her input, who she loves and who she is not allowed to love.  How he ended up being "authority" is to successfully identify the person he despises the most for reminding him of an unlived life, and point this out to Chrystya, proving that he is indispensible to her and is helping a great deal, he's trying to save his sister from her evil best friend, and there's nothing creepy at all about my wife's brother choosing this time to rival me for her love, and offer to frame me for abusing her and have her go live with him. When Chrystya tells him to stop and says he's a jerk and that I've been very loving and loyal to her through this, he takes this as all the proof he needs to conclude that I've brainwashed her.   The blue box is me, responding to his attitude about a document sent to her parents which set our boundaries, largely about "stop abusing my wife while she battles cancer", and that they are not to ever hurt her ever again.  The document was sent his way by them, and he felt the need to show contempt for me defending her from constant harassment which steals the energy she needs for healing from cancer, because to him, Chrystya's ordeal is about proving he's bigger than me and I'm to obey him, the very embarrassing (for him) reason why this must be is on another page. (Jealousy). There is much more of his self-incrimination, with Chrystya's very words for how she feels about everything and his pathological reaction to them. The top left, is the remains of "laughed at" notice with my words regurgitated back to me. 





































a complete and utter idiot.  This doesn't even make sense.  "Aha! You can't abuse me because I have cancer! OOOOOH! Gotcha!"

Last time I checked the abuse BEGAN with the news about cancer, and your little plan with the estate? I've been through this before, "I had to take care of grandma by myself" and then --- everyone is in a legal battle with the entitled baby.  

get your own woman, and try looking somewhere besides your sister. she is choosing to tell you to leave her alone, and then she finds out....that she is not allowed to refuse your advances? 

 I totally promise not to change your words, Rob...I'll leave them the way they are, just to be nice so you can achieve a narrative of hate and lack of support for Chrystya all by yourself without anyone holding your hand.  You can do it! Go Rob! Although, I have to wonder about a guy who projects everything about himself on me and what he might be doing to my TWO documents that make up my history of communications with him, because if he shares them as they are, I expect people reading them to respond with "he seems really intelligent, and have you considered that the things he wrote that you say prove he has delusions of grandeur aren't just his way of making fun of you, knowing you'd go crazy about it, wanting to see if you'd take it literally and implant the ideas in people's minds for him? Oh, ha ha! That's some funny shit", go share my communications, and don't change my words! "my name is Brian, and I don't want to work because I just want to get attention and don't do anything to support Chrystya because I'm interested in taking her condo after I put mom and dad in a nursing home, since I'm the executor of the estate. I hope Brian doesn't step in and teach me how to be a man, Sincerely, Rob" 

Did you notice the part where he suggests that I am his little brother, and am therefore in a marriage with my sister, due to a little Freudian slip that he can't take back? "The two of you have held back your diagnosis so you could hold it over the heads of your parents" wha? They're not my parents, you are not my older brother....and WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING? What the hell is wrong with you, that this is how you respond to Chrsytya having a recurrence of cancer? I will never be insulted on such a hideous level as has happened when my wife got cancer, and we didn't need any help from anyone, and her family had to interfere and make it all about themselves.  Goddammit, I would have nothing to do with y'all if you would just fuck off. Considering the possibility of the reality of this seeming Freudian slip "you two/your parents", his inappropriate rivalry with me gets pretty strange...and no grown man goes around with a "you should report to mommy and daddy" attitude, I still maintain that her parents should not need to know about Chrsytya's recurrence, or be told anything, since they don't have any respect or morals. 

WIN_20210117_23_47_56_Pro - Copy.jpg

Look at this drop dead gorgeous woman, (drop dead, Rob) isn't she stunning?...and do you know what that means? She is all about getting attention.  Women who look like this are vain and shallow, and crave attention all the time because typical men aren't responsible for their reactions to beauty, and need to blame their stupidity and lack of restraint on the trigger of their arousal, sometimes saying....why did she go out looking so hot if she didn't want to be followed for ten blocks? Women who look like this, are isolated from hardship and just get given everything, extra trouble when speaking up when dealing with someone intimidated by the package of beauty, strength, intelligence,    unwanted sexual attention, depression issues from feeling unacknowledged because people are too lame to relate to her for who she is, and anger for not being taken seriously when she says she has stage 3B cancer, because "everyone knows" that really beautiful women are airhead sillies or either stuck up bitches that just want attention and don't reciprocate by giving attention back to someone who makes her feel uncomfortable, which is too painful to admit to.  


"You look GREAT!" people say, which is considered a contradiction to her claim that she has cancer, sometimes.  Her brother has an issue with assuming things about people who are visually stunning: shallow, stupid, lazy, only about getting attention, will actually make shit up about getting cancer to get attention (even being willing to get her breasts cut off AGAIN), not willing to work. ...(when women are defined by this prejudice)...and men who are visually her equivalent (yeah, I'm going to talk about it..listen, if I avoid being inflammatory, people will make shit up about me to attack me about anyway, so I've decided to enjoy confronting people with my reality and getting attacked for something I got to enjoy doing, at least.


It's great that it has been conveniently forgotten about that I remodeled the condo, when I was under the impression it was Chrystya's....I put a lot of hours in, worked hard and was PAID by her parents for this....and now I have no desire to work, don't work (projection of function/dysfunction).  Also, the first job I had was sabotaged by talking shit, making up lies....and I found out this is about taking advantage of Chrystya's battle with cancer to keep her down....that is really not okay with me.   


Inevitably, in any situation, I get treated like dogshit by other men (most men are insecure) for being "pretty", (with the exception of men who don't give a shit what I look like and neither do I).  There are no options for me in life other than blazing my own trail, and I'm not willing to be involved in porn.  Being creative isn't work, it's being "gifted" and now I have to punish these twerps for attempting to dominate me, and tell me what my life path is....because they envy me.  And, of course "I don't want to work" says a guy who spends a lot of time interfering with my marriage instead of working, probably fantasizing about telling my weener what to do "stand at attention, private!" and it says "siryessir" like that one scene in Bruno where it yells "BRUNO!" 


Unfortunately, the kissing hugging is as far as it goes these days.  Still, it's nice to have people compete with me, assuming that my image is proof that I am constantly subjected to women taking their clothes off when they see me coming, who dance around me throwing flower petals in the air, while singing praises for me.  I'd like for people to know, don't worry.....that will be a regular occurrence at Tezcat Real events (starring Chrystya), we're having a crappy time lately, so make the most of that if you're jealous enough to destroy my life instead of attending to your own.   


The cut off picture that says "creating a record" was the picture he had of her, that we are calling his mutilation porn starring his sister, that he was using as his "proof" that I beat up Chrystya....a desperate grasping for anything that can have me carry the guilt for all that they have done to hurt her and keep her down.  The pic was taken at the saddest moment of her whole life, because she lost her breasts TWICE in one lifetime, and she didn't give it to him, as he uses it to take from her the one person she can count on, the very person who has been through all of it, and witnessed everything......EVERYTHING.  You can probably see why it is such a big deal to destroy me, and I'm not going to defend myself from the accusation against me, you go ahead and believe that I beat up my wife if that floats your boat.  Go tell people I rape chihahuas and live in a dumpster part time, whatever you want. 

The cut off picture that says "creating a record" was the picture he had of her, that we are calling his mutilation porn starring his sister, that he was using as his "proof" that I beat up Chrystya....a desperate grasping for anything that can have me carry the guilt for all that they have done to hurt her and keep her down.  The pic was taken at the saddest moment of her whole life, because she lost her breasts TWICE in one lifetime, and she didn't give it to him, as he uses it to take from her the one person she can count on, the very person who has been through all of it, and witnessed everything......EVERYTHING.  You can probably see why it is such a big deal to destroy me, and I'm not going to defend myself from the accusation against me, you go ahead and believe that I beat up my wife if that floats your boat.  Go tell people I rape chihahuas and live in a dumpster part time, whatever you want. 

Somewhere, I try to find the laughter in this, but this is no laughing's only "funny" as in strange. He seems to actually think we are being overwhelmed and overpowered.  What man who is really successful needs to bully people who are down and out (only because of them).  He thinks he is safe from consequences because I am too ashamed to have people know about my "disorder" that he thinks I have, which I don't...what a colossal oversight.  15 years ago I did, and I overcame it, and he operates under the illusion that I'm stuck there and safe to bully, oh my god.  I still have a lot of trouble with health, such as fatigue issues, and Robert Johnson is simply deciding he would like to experience a grand public humiliation, for I plan to make this case a universal issue that we all deal with, in some form. 







Hey, buddy....let's talk about what happened when you were four that has you jumping at an opportunity to treat my wife and I like humiliated four year olds while you re-enact your suffering in the parental role.  Did I agree to this? NOPE.  Dopes such as this one believe deciding someone is a child cancels the requirement of consent and willing cooperaton.  How convenient.  This is why refusing the call of the soul is cause for exile in the re-worked society I envision. So insecure, that I am being envied....when getting some govt. assistance, which would be transcended if they would stop sabotaging us.  

Chrystya is very confused about this, her brother used to be her friend...I on the other hand, experience cowards having to act as if, for doing the right thing and staying by her, doing everything I can....they decided FOR me, that I'm not allowed to be a man.  I'm not allowed to be a man. They insist on isolating Chrystya in Maui, where we don't know people...slander us and fill our lives with chaos, and set to work on interfering with our marriage....again and again, telling Chrystya some form of "I don't love her" (I'm a narcissist-no empathy for others, how ironic).  this isn't going to go the way they hoped, and I think a lot of people might agree with the concept of how they seemed to deliberately keep Chrystya down and prevent her healing.....and have been prepared to sacrifice me to their guilt, framing me for abuse. 

Chrystya has "sacrificed a lot of flesh and pain for power in battle and destiny", I tell Chrystya this to keep her spirits up, a notion inspired by Sun Dance rituals.....since there are a lot of belittling messages people going through cancer get from certain people, specifically those who aren't big enough souls to handle relating to great suffering with honor and decency. Certain people assume "authority" over what they fear, at the expense of whatever innocence, beauty and/or vulnerability has their unacknowledged childhood stuff triggered and projected.  By suffering in their midst, the sufferer becomes a "naughty runaway child" by projection, and wayward children need "authority". 

















































Check out how narcissistic I am, according to the guy entitled to be "authority" in my life, hallucinating that he's dealing with some little bitch I've never met.  A narcissist is someone with high-self esteem, who is not good enough to have self-esteem.  I'm not allowed to stick up for my wife, he wouldn't be attempting any of this, if I wasn't something triggering massive insecurity issues. 

black guy.jpg

Instead of responding to "I challenge you to engage me on every single issue, bring it on" he harassed her with "I am very disturbed Brian is using your phone!" Now he is policing me picking up the phone and telling him off.  WHOAHH! I know, Oh my god, right? That's way too intimate, that's her's like just going up and touching someone's vagina to pick up her phone and tell you to stop bothering us. 


Guess what dude? I have gone way farther than just sharing her phone. My PENIS has actually been inside her VAGINA!   Many, many times.  Does it disturb you that her thing was having an experience from my thing? 

Phones and vaginas are a lot alike, I don't have a phone or a vagina of my own to use.  Ma'am. I forgot my vagina at home, may I use yours if I give you five dollars? That's what you would do, if you were a REAL man, but you wouldn't be willing to spare five dollars would you? Cheapskate.

I am like, so being overpowered by him, I'm dyyyiing.  By the way, Chrystya is concerned that maybe aunts and uncles might read this and be offended, or something....uh...well, she wants to be taken seriously, I understand...but this is me being myself, not missing the opportunity for a hilarious they don't miss an opportunity to pounce on Chrstya's tragedy.  If people don't like my sense of humor, good for you, go ahead and focus on that, it's very if I'm interested in approval or disapproval. 


Asshat can point out a minor discrepancy with her numbers of surgeries, which PROVES........that her brother is a fucking stupid ass little boy who made my wife cry, when she was already at a low point, too much of a coward to heal his issues, like adults must do, or never escape their parents.  What a little bitch, actually operating as his parents minion, who will go down in music history as the idiot who tried to sabotage the first Tezcat Real album while I was "creating a record", a little synchronicity to illustrate that a mature person, such as myself, creates art and contributes beauty to the world, and cowards "create" others lives for them, where they get to be nothing so a turd without self-esteem, failing at impressing us with his imagined status, can feel bigger than the turd in his heart, poop poop. 

"Dr. Riker of New Orleans caused Chrystya's recurrence of cancer", those are the very words of the doctors here in Maui, where we have been living since her parents pushed, and pushed for Chrystya to move until giving in to their idea to gift her the home, which was originally supposed to be in New Orleans (before pulling the plug on us while on our way there, an inheritance situation that has benefited multiple family members).  Maui, because New Orleans isn't safe from hurricanes. Naturally, I wanted to see them come through on their promise, which at that point was no gift but owed to her after wasting her time by making her go out of her way.  At some point, this became "we never said we were giving the condo to you", yeah, I know....they had their fingers crossed.  


As if we would be so foolish to put all our eggs in the basket of trusting her family, I sensed that revelations of important information regarding the history of and plan for our souls could only be retrieved in Maui...and Mission Accomplished.  Rather than being defeated, we met an extremely difficult goal.  We always win, and perhaps her family senses that something has gone horribly in our favor and it's not fair, their stupid attempt to get their little way has gone into overdrive, and now they have made it no secret that they intend to destroy our lives by whatever means ASAP, and I have confronted them with their intentions to deliberately cause circumstances that result in my wife succumbing to cancer, which qualifies as a conspiracy to commit a murder, and to frame me for that murder.  Her parents have dementia and brain damage from undiagnosed MS, and have isolated us from compassion by telling lies meant to overwrite our characters with what deserves contempt.  Her brother, on the other hand, is simply an idiot who deserves prison for this, I don't care if he has excessive brain damage from overuse of steroids.   

 They intended to see us fail, and Chrysyta's battle with cancer?-an investment opportunity.  With that statement alone, we can be sure of ourselves when saying that, despite them forking out large enough amounts of money to seem generous to others and mask their intentions while we look like "we couldn't make it without them", they had an agenda to claim us as their property by demonstrating to us what "makes them superior", an ability to throw money around foolishly, spending money on the purchase of other human beings that are told about "being helped".  


"Congratulations, honey! The condo is yours!"  

"Can I have my name on the deed then?" 

"We'll do that after a year or so, to make sure you like it, until then I put your mom on the deed!" Yeah, and verbal agreements mean nothing in a court of law, Bob (Robert) Johnson.

"They paid all of our medical bills", they say. (We finally were able to put the pieces together about why people are swayed to regard us with contempt).  This little story puts us in debt to them, so they have the right to treat us like two year olds and take all of my wife's energy and steal the home promised to her while their fingers were crossed.  Unfortunately for them, we have the receipts from paying all of our medical bills with our own insurance. 500,000 dollars is a lot of money to claim to have paid for someone else's medical bills.  

They also claim to be giving us money all the time, when in reality, we have just been getting by for a year and half with no help from them except harassment from steering themselves into being our landlords....Chrystya was constantly kept in a suspended state of anxiety from constant threats of being kicked out on the street (they really mean it now, and refuse to believe she has cancer for real....doing this to her will kill her and they have already set me up to look like the bad guy).  Rather than do anything nice for her, a lot of energy goes into turning her whole experience into competing against me, for Chrystya, a dehumanized object rather than a real person....something like a football.  To force me to play this game, god knows how many people are told that I am using her to get something from them...the underlying message meant for Chrystya is that the one person in her life that she can count on, doesn't love her.  I suppose that this is supposed to break her heart and plunge her into a downward spiral of failing health.  


That one act of destroying my job said everything.  

Chrystya and I are evolved enough to understand what a poor choice it is to avoid what is happening within, we travel the path of Soul, inner wealth is the only legitimate wealth.  To find ourselves the "objects" of envy by those who have all that external wealth, says quite a lot.  .   


 Ignoring them did not work, and establishing boundaries has failed, (which only offended them). What do you do when people persist in carrying out an agenda which aims at punishing an externalized image of themselves, while claiming the right to sacrifice other people's lives to their inability to face things and heal?


It's as if they are wanting to be able to say "NOW LOOK WHO DIDN'T HEAL!!! CHRYSTYA!! AND WE TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM BRIAN! WE WIN" That's great, I never wronged any of them, and just wanted to be left alone. 






























This one really breaks my heart the most, the only Merry Christmas that she got from her family, who spent a lot of time trying to get her to kill herself as they move on the final stages of taking everything away from her, (humiliating themselves).  Only after rejecting her gift to him and pretending he mastered everything, perhaps we could reach his level? (Has no idea what he's dealing with....) after being a passive-aggressive tool who finds it necessary to imply she is a "flying monkey" (of me, the narcissist--my grandiosity being an assertion of Individual Sovereignty, and that I do not recognize any "authority" based on violence and self-avoidance), after he says "talking about narcissitic behavior in siblings"-then she gets Merry Christmas! I love you. I really want to slap him and never stop slapping him, for what he did to my wife after her surgery, terrorized her with his "mommy and daddy are disappointed with you" "I'm a bigger man than Brian" and telling her to get a full time job, comparing her to his friend with cancer who died while working full time.  How dare you say you love her, and only meaning "and I hate Brian, I disapprove of your marriage and you have to obey me, because you didn't get me anything for my birthday after I made you want to commit suicide (this officially never happened), and now we are at the point of them being willing to destroy both of our lives to protect the facade of normalcy, I win, go eat your own shit.  Bigger man can't accept why she skipped his birthday? How old are you, 8? Have to be passive aggressive to her on Christmas, because you truly are whacked, and turn psychotherapy into pretending to know what is best for people who don't interfere with other people's sacred boundaries?



 They didn't get her anything for Christmas, but Chrystya made sure to think of them.  Her neice and sister in law still haven't acknowledged her about what she is going through, and couldn't directly say "thanks for the gifts" but through his mention, probably because Robert Johnson told them a bunch of horseshit like she gave herself cancer to avoid adult responsibilies, that I can't take care of my wife by myself, because I don't have a good job with health insurance so her parents had to take care of al lthe medical bills, and it was so irresponsible of Chrystya to get cancer again, because she just wants other people to pay for her instead of being willing to work.  All the way up to getting cancer we paid our own way through life, and the morons attempt to rewrite reality when we're down and think that we'll never get up again.  We became an opportunity for them to punish someone who reminds them of the road not taken,  after choosing the unsatisfying safety of others' approval instead of taking a gamble on uncertainty and the adventure of answering the call.....

When my wife is battling cancer, and I'm really down....idiots still find it in them to be really jealous of me.  Why?  Competing with me at inappropriate times is an obvious admission of inferiority issues triggered by something about me, you aren't fooling anyone with a brain, Robert Johnson. 

This is Robert Johnson's way of ending his marriage and never seeing his daughter again, since they will inevitably  find out that he completely made all that shit up to justify for himself the experience of bullying his sister in the immediate wake of her surgery, and will be completely disgusted.  Or maybe they are as bad as he is.  Yes, we have the receipts from her surgeries, and that means nobody paid our way, and what actually has occurred, is being sabotaged.  

Thanks for the Merry Christmas, the very time to do something really nice for her, to show some care, we got the wonderful news that we're pieces of shit and having her home stolen to make up for having a donations page, which is none of their business anyway, it's not like we took anything from them...except a lot of abuse, and suffered for their delusions that we are under their control and helpless. Yeah, we took that away pretty easily.  

Her parents sent her angry emails for Christmas, which was meant to break her.  It wasn't clear at first, but is obvious at this point....all this time, trying to defeat us and then be done with us and get the condo on the market.  Oh shit, you guys....we're too strong to be knocked down by your bullshit.  I told them I have survived horrifying circumstances previously to meeting Chrystya, which was meant to be taken as "you really think you can end me?" 

No, it became my "victim mentality"


"I hope you get back to living the life that you choose, in the meantime let me schedule your activities for you. Healing is a choice, therefore, you got cancer by not choosing to heal yet, I need to mention healing to you, since it probably never occurred to you to want to not have cancer."  Dumbfuck. 


rather than working, policing me on facebook.  Yeah, I still think the Covid thing is a lot of bullshit, engineered to deprive us of our freedom to even breathe air without permission from the 2 dimensional TV people.  This is why I'm deciding to lead by example--a person willing to unmask myself in so many ways, and show no fear or shame.  Take off your clothes, but don't forget your mask, of course.  

The 77th Topless Panties War Party is something we're working on, have patience, please.  They don't take kindly to pseudo-masculinity, usually authoritarians who are afraid of strong, intelligent and mostly naked women armed with golf clubs.  Back in the day, Celtic women would stun men by appearing skyclad and the enemies on the other side would just be standing there not knowing what to do, as their swords run through their hearts.  I don't know if that is true, or if I just made that up.  I think it's both.    

You probably assume I'm some feminist, nope.  I like masculine women (masculinity is the ability to say FUCK YOU and be yourself instead of what other people tell you to be, contrary to stupid bullshit masquerading as a proper definition.  Femininity is acceptance and receptivity, which can become conformity to what other people want, if not balanced by masculinity, and vice versa...masculinity without feminine receptivity is to act without taking in information, and acting like a psycho.  Rob is out of touch with both, and is completely fucked. )


no communication is communication? I suppose "No" means "Yes" also to you.  Real lovely that he keeps asserting he loves my wife, and I don't.  Why a guy has to compete with me for his goddamn sister is weird, but anyway, he's certain that Chrystya can't be taken seriously when she asserts her opinion of me, he doesn't give a shit about her choices, so he persists in interfering with our relationship, pointing at himself as the better choice.  Look, here's an article about how I'm a narcissist.  (facepalm) Goddammit. Jan. 1st is coming means "I'm getting excited about you guys failing at paying the dues when you are supposed to take over, ha ha ha!"  The day came, we were ready to pay, and were told "you are not allowed to pay the dues and assume ownership, we're paying it"---that's great, harass us about not being able to pay something in the future, penalize us for something that hasn't happened yet, and look...we didn't pay it (because they didn't let us).  Totally justified to make a big deal about this when Chrystya was going in for surgery. 


 I'm a narcissist, and he never does anything wrong.  I'd love to be part of that breast cancer support group also, and tell them about the time he called Chrystya up and was so cruel to her that she cried all night long and was talking about suicide again, and I had to console her for hours and just be with her.  It's definitely true that I wasn't working then, because some asshole had to call my wife the day after she got her breasts cut off FOR THE SECOND TIME, which was so extremely sad it occurred to me to put up a donations page in hopes she would be flooded with friendly messages and problaby have it work out so we could afford to do something fun that would cheer her up, since we had been just getting by and no more for a year and a half.  We were not prepared for this asshat deciding that it is not okay for us to have a donations page (none of your business, twat) he can't even do anything nice for her before thinking he is entitled to push her around (entitled behavior is the confession of a victim mentality; it's not fair, he deserves to get revenge on people who didn't do anything to him)  I wonder what they would say in the SUPPORT group, that he probably would like to ban me from going to, and have his sister to love without me around to inform them that he demanded that she heals as soon as possible and that we never learned to take adult responsibilities, we don't want to work and we just want to take from everyone all the time.  He told her she needs to get a full time job, comparing her to his "friend" Rhonda, who worked full time when she had cancer, who just recently died from cancer. 


"Did he just invite you to die?" I asked her, "Did he seriously just offer you a role model to aspire, you could work until you die from cancer, too?" Don't worry Robert Johnson, I fully intend to harness the "destroy the sexist toxic masculinity piece of shit" trend that is going around these days, and I bet you a dollar I pull off going where most men don't have access, you PUSSY.  Don't get the wrong idea, I'm a pussy myself, I don't mind being a pussy either, it means that I'm receptive to being penetrated with information coming in from the environment and being able to FEEL, and be guided to TRUTH AND REALITY that way, instead of the "moron-alert" concept of "man", where telling reality what to do without sensitivity to what's actually going on is the way to operate (like a clown)...and also I am able to give birth to children in the form of songs, art, and what yeah, I'm a pussy, and I'm also a Door between shared reality and a personal universe of my own. Big Pussy, and I happen to have a "beautiful, perfect cock", so they say when we go skinny dipping as a group (not lately, Chrystya experienced tragedy) have to be a huge pussy like me to be receptive to how another person feels, if I was a typical "man", she would be shit out of luck and dealing with a fuck up who thinks telling her feelings what to do is being a man, just like you probably want to tell my weener what to do.....otherwise, you wouldn't be pretending to compete for your sister while obviously not caring about her, and just wanting to fuck me in anyway you can, just want to put that out there, because I'm still mystified about why pseudo-men are just not okay with me.   

Oh, and taking out your anger on your sister as your response to my email you couldn't respond to, but told us we didn't take adult responsibility  (but being takers is wrong, how can we take adult response ability, if we can't take anything? Is taking response ability for the wounds in our souls before becoming a twat who takes out his rage on innocents notable? 


If Rob was more of a pussy, like me, he would be receptive enough to empathize with how upsetting this is, which has a lot to do with wanting to offset this with a donations page.  She was sitting in the hospital bed, all by herself, her breasts cut off FOR THE SECOND TIME because of Dr. Riker's botched surgery, and feeling extremely lonely and all her nerves firing, causing huge anxiety...I'm not allowed to be there because Covid, and wishing her dad could comfort her by letting her know he cares about her.  Instead, "I'm not talking to you because you didn't send us a budget" (click) that's when she started feeling suicidal and someone took a picture of her.  All Rob could do is take that picture he wasn't supposed to have, and use it to prove I'm abusing her, as he humiliates her by letting her know how excited he is to have that picture, which is mutiliation porn starring his sister, ostensibly excited to have something to hurt our relationship with because HE loves her and compares me to him as "inferior".  Bob, you're going to hell for that, I still have to say "shove your budget up your ass" even though she complied with this nonsense and sent it, you just "forgot" anyway.  

Shove your budget up your ass, I don't see the legitimacy of a guy who lets his wife waste a fortune insist to manage my financial affairs, when we have not even been allowed to make a payment, you fucking idiot. "You won't be able to make a payment in the future, so you get punished for it now"---fuck you, idiot.  That was really pathetic to be rude to my wife on purpose, when we didn't do anything but go along with your idea...and immediately at her surgery, you three goons went to work trying to hurt her as much as if in hopes she would succumb to cancer....

Her situation is very serious, and her family contributes a great deal of sorrow....including, that because she is a bad person who couldn't meet conditions, they are going to sell the condo out from under was necessary to say that to her as she went in for surgery, having NO idea what you are dealing with, and I'm not going to destroy your "brought it on yourself" your very words for my wife when she got her breasts cut off FOR THE SECOND TIME. 


laughed at "brian is funny", so me being funny is a joke to you now? That's right, this isn't funny.  The one on the right is an extension of "laughed at: you think your sister being abused is hilarious?" Which is to say, yes he does, or is laughing at me sticking up for her.  Either way, he loves her and is the better choice of man to be with, even though Chrystya is his sister, who is not allowed to refuse his advances when she tells him to back off and sends her 40 more shitty texts that result in a day so sad it actually rivalled the "getting her breasts cut off for the second time" incident. 


more of "laughed at" By the way, he responded by REFUSING TO ENGAGE WITH the time I emailed him, and he punished his sister rather than talking with me.  Very manly thing to do, get back at your rival by being cruel to his wife, the woman you love more than I do or whatever .  Considering everything he says is a projection, the thing about the black eye how "scary I am", when reversing that projection is a very disturbing conclusion about a guy who hurts my wife to get back at me.   

defending me.jpg

What does it say about me that I am completely accustomed to pseudo-men initiating unwanted competitive games with me? Having overcome having to come of age inside of a tornado, (what people won't believe requires metaphors), it took a while to realize that a person initiating competitive nonsense, is confessing to feeling intimidated by isn't about my inferiority at all, though I was so accustomed to being violently put down at any occasion of showing some self-esteem, that the idea of being admired or thought highly of by others was a foreign concept.  If at all, people usually don't revisit their childhood wounds and release trauma and trapped energy until mid-life, I started this process at around 20, which required completely abandoning the notion that other people are going to help me instead of push me off-center.  When I met Chrystya, our energy fields pretty much created a sonic boom and my soul started throwing out some real wild stuff, that seemed like a colossal burden at the time....all I can say is, I had an enormous task ahead of me, and better start preparing as much as I can no time was I ever defeated or did I surrender, and I eventually had recall "Oh, I had a goal to reach zero....I did it!" and "Ah! I once swore an oath to deliberately take on as much pain, humiliation and betrayal for the sake of enduring anything for the sake of love" (my life is about the Persephone myth,'s also that much fuel for transformation) -  to share this is to unmask myself, to not wait around for others....and also, to provide clowns who are too afraid of the past to embark on that journey, with an opportunity to call me someone with a victim mentality.  Everyone knows that a victim mentality is a person who fearlessly exposes themselves to ridicule by sharing what they've been through, in hopes of inspiring others to feel good about healing themselves, rejecting any form of authority that would colonize their minds and refer to the Individual as "self-centered", well...duh, yeah, I've Self-centered, instead of living on the edge of someone else trip, like minute little unimportant character in a game I am not consented about, waiting for the second coming of the second hand experience, being told what to do by the hand of the hour, the hand of god....,second, minute, and hour.....

I prefer first, significant and mine. Because, I'm a self-centered guy with the coolest wife, whose brother is much like mine, jealous and cowardly. 

bottom of page