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The Woman: Chrystya

          La Libra y El Libro de la Vida 

Part 1 of the story of Chrystya's ordeal.  Other installments will bring to light what she has really been through...the first step, is to explain that...confronted with some "different" circumstances...I got different 

For those of you who don't know her personally, my wife is to be the subject of my experiment with consciousness, song, and the collected CARE beams of volunteers focusing intentionally on her least to see what happens. Hopefully, to liberate her from a "dark root" she was born with, legacy of something from a time before this time. What is required, is to assert the True Will over interference from a "lesser dimension" ...the second dimension, with the use of Tezcat Real, my band. This is a strange situation, and a job for "a shaman", I suppose.  I am not a hippie. Our lives are very much like the "Dionysus and Persephone in the Underworld" myth...and this page shows the plan to bring her into the free her from "Hades"...or Wetiko.  It ends up being a lot of fun, and might have an influence on 


Helping her involves admitting a lot, I suppose. She is an incredible woman in an incredibly strange situation...and she has been put through a very difficult ordeal the last seven years, involving a cruel family who acted as if Hades, insistent on treating us as property of "The Will" -- but against my True Will which involves a band, read on.  ​I have much to offer humanity, which is knowledge arrived at when dealing with a strange problem, which I incarnated rescue her. 


I want to put and end to it, finally...and I was made to recognize that the trouble with wanting to bring Chrystya's ordeal into the Light,  was that I was pretending that I could hide those things I don't want to admit to, oh great.  In the shadows? That won't work.  OK.  The story exposing her "family" comes after this step - this is  worth being involved on, I have not made it too easy to get through...a little lengthy, to make sure that 


New Plan: All or Nothing.  Please, will you join together to help me perform an experiment with sound and intention?

So, we have been in this IMPOSSIBLE situation for a long time now, and because of it being an impossible situation….we realize that the interpretation of the whole experience needs to be dealt with on a higher level of consciousness than merely ordinary perception.  Judged by ordinary perception, it will be....JUDGED.  


There is no other woman like Chrystya.  I'll reiterate here, that I met her on a day that was a new Fantomas album beginning.  "Suspended Animation" has 30 tracks, one for each day of April, 2005.  April 1, 2005, or track 1, was the day we track 28, we were hearing this new album live from that very band. I found out for the first time at that show that this woman made a new album by my favorite band be about our first month together.  NO OTHER WOMAN CAN DO THAT! Don't even try to compete, just be yourself.   It was National Poetry Month.  So, somehow...we are emerging from suspended animation now...and, she has been acting strange, like....something is reminding me about her situation...oh, yes, why do so many people be weird and untrustworthy? Her experience with breast cancer can't be told without this intro. NOT HER FAULT. 


The impossible situation has evolved me into actually accomplishing something that was considered impossible, until the crazy things that Chrystya had to be going through brought it all out of me…and we were helpless, isolated and stuck in this really insecure situation.  (I don't need attention, really) I want people to know that what I’m doing is bringing it all into the Light at this time so to disperse the darkness, and am meaning to turn the situation around while giving something really worthwhile to people…giving back to those who would generously give their time and energy to hear of our plight, and how hard a lot of it could be to hear about after this introductory page.  


I am determined to prove to myself that I can realize my vision of putting Chrystya in a situation where she can be the focus of many people joining together to love the one person that all Tezcat Real songs relate to, as the music of Tezcat Real plays, and a collective beam of consciousness raises her frequency from its "dark root condition" -- and that is something much too heavy for her to ever be able to get free from on her own. It is what has been "wanting" to take her back down all this time, for seven years we've been struggling against it -- my SPIRIT and WILL is connected to her, giving her extra life force to be able to endure.  I've been giving her my life force in emergency situations? no wonder I got a Light donor the whole way through this.  I realized that halfway through.  This is why she kept being able to hang on, past a certain someone's attempt at pushing her over the edge when she had to get double mastectomies for the second time (her "brother")....he expected her to die! He's still trying for it! It's all very heavy.  Let's heal the situation.  Keep reading, I wrote enough to scare lazy people away....(lazy people have lazy thoughts...too quick to assume). 

She is the Rock Star already, as she is the Moon and I am the Sun, that's our dynamic.  What people need to know…is that what a Rock Star is, really is a Full Moon...which is the Mirror Coincidence of the Sun. 

















A Night Sun like in back way when, girlfriend of the Sun star? A Sun is a star, yes? Night Sun is made of rock.  Rock Star….reception of the lights of love all forgiving to her enjoying without taking anything away.  When that is accomplished, perhaps she, and she alone…will get to be the last rock star and we'll be ALL DONE WITH THAT SHIT…and, then a cultural shift takes place...(what culture?)  Or, we'll keep having rock stars. 


Wouldn't it be weird if I didn't expect much and then a lot happened? The heroes in the band are all Suns. No more idle worship of images.  No more subjecting singers to only being our reflection instead of themselves and getting mad at them for it.  No more treating our heroes like they must have had an annoying shaman possess them to be that talented, and then he just abandons them? Which is bad manners.  A MR. BUNGLE is a person who has really bad manners!! A "native american" spirit.  We are ALL a bunch of Mr. Bungles.  Nefertiti says: "destroy false idols bitch".  It is really weird to wear someone else's face on your shirt.  Especially if you have sex with your shirt on. Come up from the second world, inhabit yourself.  


I got a vision, and this vision of mine is about the perfect marriage between empathy and ambition.  What is music good for anyway? Videos? Arousing huge levels of emotional intensity, that's what...  What is a huge level of emotional intensity good for? Powering the thoughts contained in the words of the singer’s song.  I believe that, under the correct conditions – a concert experience could involve a focus on one special individual who actually needs something like that...maybe every show, MR. BUNGLE CAN HEAL THIS BOY!! I'd like to see that, absolutely. 

​​​The story of what Chrystya has really had to deal with is known only to myself, and you would never guess in a million years what a woman she actually is. I have realized that…man, if I could manage to actually get it together so that people got what I was really trying to do, the enthusiasm would be there!  I want to say, before getting into what she has been through and is traumatized by, what she is afraid of, and why she should have such extreme misfortune happen to her (it's not a case of 'not wanting to get better')....that I have realized that the only way to get people to align with me, is to make an inventory of all the gifts that I have to give to people that come from opening up about these six years….it was not just a lot of being defeated and overwhelmed.  Still the champion.  You are going to hear the story – and then, realizing how crazy nuts it all is…you will hopefully appreciate that…after enduring all that, this whole entire time…Brian Hoffmann made the darkness work for him, and be his slaves.  After all, they do say of Tezcatlipoca “We Are His Slaves!!!”  Yeah, Tezcat Real refers to that.....but, this is Tezcatlipoca of The Goddess (who is butt naked).  We are ALL Black Tezcatlipoca. All that karmic debt built up? Goes to who owns it! 


If you wrong an innocent, vulnerable person continually, over and over for a period of years..especially who says STOP!! so many times, the karmic debt REALLY builds up, and we are at the point where her "brother", the "going-through-cancer-terrorist",  demands we be burdened with that debt.  Her family has debt piled up on debt, and it seems to cause situations where those who already have wronged a person get really desperate to rid themselves of it.....upon that same person. An unending cycle of bullshit– that is what a lot of abuse is about, making someone pay.  A sacrifice of the innocent.   We are Tezcat Real…and we are completely against human sacrifice, unless it is yourself for a future version of yourself, or for someone you love….I suppose.  Involuntary human sacrifice, that’s what I mean. 


                                                   The original "blood sacrifice" = pussy blood.

This whole time, I have never been the slave of this extreme situation…and it is going to have to be recognized that, we’re not normal.  I have not succumbed, and have not been defeated by any of it.  I just need people to recognize my vision….which involves not about being recognized while I do something, because that would be awkward for me anyway. I know I can, let's focus on you.  Don't make me blush. 

Chrystya was born with a "dark root" that comes from having once been a prisoner of war and having a real upsetting experience, in that other body....same soul.  'Heyoka Rode" is about this a bit. She is a hero. She has really lousy things happen to her as a result of that experience, the inertia of it, because what happens to us remains with our souls...our souls can remain captive and captured again and again. I should know, because I was made to deal with how I once was someone else I that was but still me, our bodies are the manifestation of our souls.  During six sucky years,  "some guy" emerged from Suspended Animation....and my spiritual capacity increased...I began work on the album three years ago and I really had the capacity to do that, and in very trying conditions.  

What happened to her, in another body with the same soul, was so extreme that she became condemned by the experience, and she is so undeserving of all the crap that goes with it... and I want to say this: when I realize that the solution for how to heal her involves going way into territory that could result in being judged and criticized, am I going to let her down? No. Am I condemning myself to being stuck for being afraid to come out in the open? With some things? Nope. 

Sometimes, like Joseph Campbell says, the popular myths are found to actually play out in our lives, and that level of reality is where Tezcat Real wants to take you.  We take you through synergy to the fifth, where rather than remaining silent, the fifth is a loud of really loud.  The 3rd dimension of space, the fourth of linear time…the fifth of non-linear time and acausal events.  Poetry, in other words.  You who have been to Burning Man know the experience and I tell you, it is the actual experience of America – which should not be controlled and contained with a ritual.  The Saturday Night ritual is upsetting to me, but for the most part – the experience there – you know that synchronicity and poetry are the same expression of the fifth dimension, which shall not remain silent. 

The Myth that Chrystya and I have been living is parallel to Dionysus and Persephone.


Dionysus, a Goddess oriented fellow, has to descend into the underworld to rescue his woman, Persephone…who had been abducted by Hades, who is basically an asshole.  Hades wants to keep her as it's pet.  If you want to know what it is that gets in people who do not "check their blindspot"…it is Hades...symbol, metaphor...whatever you want.  The expression “God Uses Fools”?  God, the Sphere of Consciousness, does not use fools.  Intelligent people volunteer with pride and joy.  Fools are those who are not self-aware, and they have blind spots….making it possible for something to use them.  It is Hades who uses fools.  I hope I managed to set up something which makes sense and will make the telling of her story a lot more interesting now, and likely to generate some mega empathy beams. 

I wrote this out just after having a very strange experience with her…..something is arising in her that has been starting to panic, and is trying to mess me up for accomplishing something...and only reminded me of that most important thing, and it is not her, it is something that needs to clear out.  NOW.  We are going to emerge into the Light now, and finally escape from the "grip of Hades". 


This can all be symbolic for you, or whatever….and this is the actual experience I have had…"It's that Hades asshole again" and the anger towards me that is so desperate will make sense to you, if you recognize that Hades uses fools…and it is angry that I am taking its "pet" away  Very angry that I could never be fucked with and set off balance. Angry that…..for six years, it couldn’t take Chrystya back down (I got so drained)..I have no resentment for having such a burden to carry – because I have recognized that my thing to do in this life, is rescue her from hell..which is a place on earth. 

One more important thing –.the root theme of Chrystya’s unbelievable ordeal is "The Will" The second dimensional one.  Her brother has basically made his parents' WILL into his deity. He deserves millions of bucks and to kill people! I don't care about it. My Will and Testament is greater, for it reaches a higher law and plane.  My Living Will and Testament is not determined for me, and to decide that I am enslaved to any other will...I hope there is karmic backfire.   


How about that…."the Will" -- of his parents.  No Will of his own...andlike any zealot for his god, he demands everyone else recognize only the one true "his parents" will.  The Will.  An addendum to this Will says that, if Chrystya dies….I would get all her share…and so that's what it has been all about. It was exactly when he was trying to push her over the edge by shaming her about having a donations page, when she was in her most fragile condition…that he, at the same time, started setting me up with slander and constant harassment, including death threats – hoping to one day make me appear to be at fault when she dies (nope),  after making people believe in lies (that are projections of his actions) – and, he just knew that who I really am is someone that…has no will of his own, right? So….intense disapproval of me and harsh judgments were going to be added to how I just couldn’t live without her, and I would commit suicide. Considering guys like him have no courage….he only sprang into action because he KNEW it was going to be so easy.  He failed.  He left a witness to an attempted murder, and the suicide is really his own.  He is still needing to destroy us. It's a strange thing and-- today is 6/29/2024 - a powerful time of year. 

You have to understand that it is all true about the Hades stuff…this is the reason why just about everyone she encounters has been weird to her lately..for a long time, actually -- always having a problem when she asserts herself, always being projected upon, used, when she thinks she can have property instead of be property...…it is Hades, and it is the Underworld of the second death tugging at her, fucking with her at every turn. I want to be free of it all....and everyone should. 


She deserves as much empathy as can be pooled together and directed at her – because, what’s suddenly in her is fucking with me now, in a panic.  Like I'm about to do something?

​So, what I said about "The Will".  I've got to have something very powerful of my own that can be anywhere, everywhere which triumphs over anything with its center of gravity displaced in the second dimension and puts "authority" outside the Individual, coming from a lifeless rectangle..Tezcat Real! So that I might assert my True Will against anything that is supposed to bind her and we "bring her home, into the Light".  Strange, that I just made the album without ever thinking of it that way.  "Need to know basis" with following the True Will.


Those who have no capacity for empathy, cannot realize a True Will....which is anchored in the body.  Their PAPER Will is about anchoring to the second dimension.  We are NOT owned by a lesser dimension...and the songs of Tezcat Real are all waiting to be married to a passionate listener like you....and the songs are designed for potency....just add human energy, the I AM CARE energy (anagram of America). 


Tezcat Real is MY WILL AND TESTAMENT, it is an assertion of having both the Light as well as the Right to do what I am doing– and it has to reach higher than the underworld dimension - SOUND is the Lord of Light.….and it has to be a Will and Testament which is known by sound....I can be anywhere someone participates, and vibrates all the high ways.  I assert by my True Will…that I am taking Chrystya home right now to where she has a family that loves her and would never hurt her.  She doesn’t hate her family, those who hurt her were impostors.  So…now that you know how stupid it all is…you know the reason why I went to such trouble to create this thing….it took a long time.  PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU DON’T GIVE ME ATTENTION.  I don’t want it….turn it up, and….maybe even a group of people could get together right now and imagine: 

Start with "No Creature"– that you visualize this:


Pretty White Buffalo Calf  is getting a massive dose of CARE BEAMS, and becoming free from an Underworld which IS ruled two dimensional ways.  She is finally free to use her voice in any way she wants! Nothing comes to sabotage her if she tries, she is not made to become distracted from what is most important, her Will is her own.  She is not an extension of a PAPER Will and Testament.  Her True Will is unfettered, she comes up into the from the stupidity of death and 


Whatever that name makes you think about– it's coming from who knows where – everywhere.  I want to prove something about consciousness and intention with an experiment, so that music will stop being bullshit all the time.  Taylor Swift, watch out. Are you into manifesting?  Close your eyes, the video is in your brain.  Let's see what happens, eh? 


               Just another one of those MIRROR COINCIDENCES 

                                                ANY QUESTIONS?

Not chained to this second dimension, imagine her to pursue anything she wants to, in the human organic dimension of bodies, trees and heavy metal bands led by her


           Heyoka Warrior 



The Woman  


                                   La Mujer 

          Six becomes Seven...

I...found this, in my mind one day.  It is about how a sex change to seven can happen.  This is the reflection of who she would be in the organic dimension.  SEVEN is the number of the Goddess.  If you are into it, be EVE.  Hold that frequency.  This is a reflection of a sphere -- which is central to a cube.  The cube has SIX planes.  SIX and SEX are the exact SAME WORD.  When we see the word "Sex" used, think SIX -- and that SIX means THE CUBE.  Add one exploding sphere of Light centrally -- that is SEVEN.  

The two basic form of the universe are CUBE and SPHERE - considered gender opposites (oh, no!).  SIX -- every plane or wall of the CUBE -- is a flat surface, or a screen -- the SPHERE is actually the Spirit of GOD -- the CUBE is the GODDESS at Large.  This is the reflection of a woman who is WHOLE - a beautiful nude woman, who is clearly a Goddess if viewed as one...but able to hold GOD within -- the Aton.  This is the reflection of Nefertiti who later became a pharaoh...history hides this.  The Pharaoh was God back then....

There is a diameter from S to N, which are for South and North...consider it spells SIN - -which means "to be"...BEING IS WRONG? A "sinner" has God anchored in the organic dimension - allowing for freedom.  The circumference is O-riginal.  You see that EVE fits in between two poles -- it is EVE within

O-riginal SIN -- SEVEN - the 5 letters are to remind us of how we are oriented to the center of a 2D plane - horizontally -- one at the center of NEWS, north east west and south.  From the image, to the organic dimension -- starting with the feet....the diameter becomes the concept of "I" - the circle becomes the sphere.  It is also SION...and add "The Man"....MAN SION. 7 letters.  

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