Once I realized I could password protect pages I put online, this site can be more than fucking useless.  All it has been good for, going on years now, is to secure a name which is so badass that it is worth spending $400 dollars a year -- just to keep tezcatreal.com 
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Tezcat Real -- I have never seen Easy Rider, well....I have, in another body.  I believe I probably hated the guys who made it....and they were said to go "Oh, here comes Jim Morrison -- how about us guys -  Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda go somewhere else because......"
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Whatever.  I feel contempt when I see the poster "they were looking for the REAL AMERICA! But they couldn't find her!!!"  Note that REAL and REEL are homophones, which....yes, could be phones that are for  homos and I'm su re some gay comedian beat me to it. 
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Homophones are words that are spelled differently when written - and the  REAL AMERICA was meant as the REEL AMERICA -- those asshats were traveling around  the  REEL AMERICA -- and what di rection we re they heading in?  LEFT. 
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They took the Left Hand Path to find the  REEL AMERICA.  
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Watch my film HWY -- it makes zero sense to everyone.  I know what it means, and now you will too....will you be my High Priestess?  Of The Dillinger Gang?

Isn't that even gnarlier than Hells Angels?  Memory:  I remember Sonny Barger thought I was a hilarious and misunderstood guy.....Hells Angels material.  I was made a Hells Angel.  They sang "for he's a jolly good fellow" or something for me, and I began to cry -- by then, I felt betrayed by everyone - but they accepted me.  I smashed a whisky bottle over my head, because......if you start crying in front of Hells Angels, you should probably do something really macho to make up for it.  

I believe Sonny Barger  was repeatedly impresed with what tended to happen when some "tough guys" would approach me, "lookit the pretty boy" -- and, I would take on all 10 of them....get my ass kicked, but...I would be laughing SO HARD the whole time -- that, goddammit -- that guy is a Hells Angel.  

James Douglas Morrison -- Hells Angel.  You can never quit -- it is for life.   I never died, and......the funniest thing I did that I know about while on the lower astral plane, other than talking to Elvis Presley and steering him towards inviting John Densmore's wife to his hotel room and FUCKING HER!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! (Robby put this in his book "Set the Night On Fire" which he wanted to be able to call "Light My Fire" but Ray wrote Light My Fire.  Huh, and John Densmore wrote "Riders On The Storm" -- the book.  The point is that, subliminally -- Ray wrote "Light My Fire" and John Densmore wrote "Riders On The Storm" -- but, if you examine it closely -- Oliver Stone wrote "Riders On The Storm" -- on the back, "I just love John's homespun tales!"  -- like, what.....he was not writing it poolside with Oliver Stone? Robbie included a chapter -- a random story there, nothing to do with anything -- about an event that happened after Jim (me) was gone - Elvis just started chasing the car being driven by Mrs. Krieger and Mrs. Densmore.  

Lynn described it as a fun time of having the Memphis Mafia show their guns, and hit on her.....and......then, John's wife went into a room with Elvis.  Robbie included this chapter to get revenge on John for exposing to Doors fans all over the world, that Robbie was a junkie for many years.  I did not know that, until John Densmore wrote of it.  He has gossip/boundary issues......

"Oh, John....aren't you the guy who, was not only jealous and backstabbing with your lead singer, the Lizard King.....but, hey!  Didn't your marriage end because Elvis Presley, the very King of Rock and Roll, fucked your wife?"  Robbie is The Door that I like, he never really did anything to piss me off....he's allright. "

How the hell did Elvis Presley know that Lynn Krieger and Julia Densmore were in a certain car, a hundred feet or so ahead!?  Suddenly, this Rolls-Royce is speeding after them and honking at them because.....even though Robbie didn't give any hints to the general public -- I did hear him say , long before publishing this book "Ray has been haunting me!"  John did not have Ray haunting him.  Robbie did.  

I wanted to scream "ME TOOOO!!!!!!"  and then play it off like "Harvey Weinstein touched my butthole I mean, yeah....#metoo!

This was 1972 Elvis -- he was a fan of mine, the admiration was mutual.  He was obsessed with Blavatsky, the afterlife, seances and contacting the dead.  

"Hey, Elvis -- It's Jim Morrison.....I'm in a spot here.  Can you help me?" 

"My boy, mah boy!!! Jim Morrison, hooooweeeee!!! What can I do fo you, friend?"

"There's a car up ahead, you'll need to speed up to catch up with them.  In that car are the wives of my guitarist and my drummer.  They totally want to party with you, and.....Julia? John's wife?  John is a schmuck with women and, I always caught him staring at me and then looking away real quick...then doing bullshit to hurt me to hide his feelings for me, which are not good Catholic boy feelings.  He talked shit about how I'm a redneck all the time, so I was thinking....."

"I know what to do, mah boy mah boy!! Who's more of a redneck king of rock and roll?" 

"Only Jesus Christ, Elvis!"  Vrrrrroooooom.   So, the whole point of that pointless story was that Ray had Robbie include something in his book that I would be able to decipher - "I got Elvis Presley to fuck Julia Densmore's marriage - Elvis fucked John Densmore's wife!"  The moral of the story is, if your wife cheats on you with THE ELVIS PRESLEY OF ALL PEOPLE -- it says, that .... John was an asshole to me because -- his wife wanted me as well, he  resented me........he knew I did that, somehow -- and thought that-- like cowards always do -- he could, ruin my  reputation!!!!!! Enter Oliver Stone. 

What else did I do? My mother is a liar, I asked about this -- and she changed the story -- probably because I grew into looking like the angel that appeared in her dream.  When I was a child, an angel appeared to her in a dream and told her "your son is extremely strong, and is a king.  He will be named Brian, it is the name of a strong king.  It is also a name that is I, Bran -- as the anagram -- put on the path of the Raven -- the path of the Raven is lonesome, and shows you the darkness that is in everyone -- it is a necessary path for someone who will become a healer. 

It turns out that the angel that appeared to my mother was a Hells Angel.....because, I wasn't dead....Hells Angel for life -- and I was going for another incarnation.  I was born a Hells Angel, and....it was none other than Sonny Barger himself who announced to them all -- that I was one of them.  

They loved it that they had their own rock star, a real outlaw -- and underneath it all....was Harry Pierpont, the founder and leader of the Dillinger Gang.  Sonny Barger said "I don't pick Hells Angels, I recognize 'em".  Back then, I believe a lot of them to have been warriors who fought with me at Rosebud and Little Big Horn.  

The Hells Angels are not the same.  Yes, they were violent assholes....I had no tolerance for guys who beat women, but a lot of them were great guys -- guys like me, who had to be their own fathers and had no tolerance for wimps who let others tell them what life was going to be -- as soon as I was Public Enemy #1 for the stupid "penis incident" that never happened -- I achieved official outlaw status with them......and, in the long run....it was important. 

On the astral you can see the future -- not only could I see that being named Brian Hoffmann would be really embarrasssing to my parents because people would say "HAIL SATAN" at them, and be ever more convinced that I was Satan (Deicide - Eric and Brian Hoffman) - but this is even funnier.  

Seen "Life of Brian"?  Monty Python - Brian was born in a stable next to Jesus, was from Nazareth also --but they never knew each other.  Actually, the guy from Nazareth is Dan McCafferty "Hair of the Dog", you know?  

Jim Caviezel was chosen to play Jesus because of the same reason Val Kilmer was chosen to play Jim Morrison -- the English Alphabet Cypher -- which Hollywood uses all the time -- and this is the introduction to it.   

I have made some incredible discoveries about astrology that it needs a complete overhaul -- do I still think it's bullshit? Yes...the way most people do it, is fucking bullshit.   Do I have more sophisticated knowledge than the Hollywood Illuminati?  Fuck yes, I do....and -- 

It begins here 


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