4:26 pm 

1/10/2021 

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CHRYSTYA CARE FUND 

                                            HEYOKA WAR STRUT 

The "Heyoka War Strut" is the way to go check the mail when under the influence of one of two presented attitudes.. A or B :

 

A) You just know how to get things done because you're sick of this bullshit and they aren't getting away with it! You are so sick of it that you decide that you may as well fight for your country which has 2 people and 3 cats, called America.  The country known to everyone as America does not deserve the name and is has been Fake America since the 19th century, so you're just deciding that it is the name of your country and that other country can either kiss your ass or start answering to you....and should expect the whole house of cards to eat itself and shapeshift into something primarily based on including Cancer as the idea of a good thing, instead of something to destroy,  an archetypal world that includes various things ranging from being genuine, care, empathy, vulnerability, drinking and bare breasts. Swimming happens a lot. Currently, America is at war with 8 billion shitty citizens of all the other shitty countries at the same time, confident that they will be come around because fuck you and because you are so pissed off you are pretty sure that you can take on the so-called "United States of America", the fake America, all by yourself.... and still help Chrystya get through life simultaneously. 

B) Cancer is bad and therefore so is empathy, vulnerability, bare breasts and drinking. 

A) If you are worth knowing you are a person that honors the code of the warrior, so glad to meet you and we know that you don't need to be introduced to the attitude of  being willing to go out of your way and persist even at enormous personal cost....such as living amongst the very people who want to hurt you the most, and also risking death, humiliation, confusion, amnesia and injury.....and willing to match her for what she has been through...because love will endure absolutely everything to save a person from a fate she does not deserve, especially because not only is she precisely the example of an admirable human being, but also because she is the very model and example of America, that you will stop at nothing until you find her and bring her home to a place where there is better "ambience" and  no people around that would ever have it cross their minds to lay traps for her to fall in for their idea of entertainment.  

 

The very idea of the person you love being condemned to endlessly cycling lives that are only another disappointment destined to be, another experience ruined by the re-enactment of the main theme of experiencing great betrayals of common human decency (that should stand even in the context of war), in return for showing kindness, trustworthiness, endurance, patience, generosity, bravery and strength ....is unbearable...especially knowing that they would only perpetuate without your intervention, which motivates you into action and because you still cry when your mind ever revisits the day of her capture, so you would be willing to lose goddamn everything 3 times in a row to go a save a beautiful soul who you know would never be free from burdens far too strong for her to bear alone and you are the only one who can do it....going into unburden her of something like, say for example, being a prisoner of war in the sites of a guy who has a lot of "betraying his commanding officer" guilt to discharge and pass onto someone else that he is also jealous of for getting to do it to the stupid loudmouth bastard when he wanted to do that for years and this female warrior took it away from him!? Who ever heard of a female warrior? His wife wears a sunbonnet and makes biscuits. 

B) We used to love Chrystya but parallel to the same time that we ended up having that condo she became a bad person and she only brought this on herself and they have no choice but to spend the money from selling what they only allegedly promised her because she does not have the right to say what reality is, the person with the most money and cowardice gets to make up what reality at their whim so that Chrystya will experience another lead up to betrayal in exchange for being a decent person, just like everything else always does, and why? Makes no sense----

If your answers are both A, your name is probably Brian Hoffman and if they are both B you deserve to have the experience of losing all of your property and money and having it be appropriated by us in the founding of our country, that we are going to call America.   

(Don't worry, honey, it's all over now that I remember things and it was exactly parallel to my remembering that the Crossroads Beast began to panic about me "stealing" you).  Oh my fucking god. 

Now, on to our little "friend"---

May you always remember and think of little else but the exact moment you became my slave.  I TOLD YOU, and tried very hard to save your soul from the path you were about to embark upon, to urge you to never do anything ever again to hurt my wife and you responded by sending her about 45 texts on the subject of how stupid I am.  I told you that the backfire would bounce back ten fold.  What is 45 violations?  Each worth one beating the shit out of you, times ten.  This is isn't even counting the moron stuff that you are doing right now, which is probably going around town with that picture of my wife, taken at the most sad moment of her whole entire life, mostly naked with a black eye that she got from not having the presence of mind to throw out her hands as she tripped over the lip of the shower and got to not only have the experience of being humiliated by you as you go around town with your mutilation porn photo that feautures my wife that you are not even supposed to have, who at her saddest moment that she ever you having your psychopath Don Quixote trip.  

It was a really intelligent assumption to assume that the power I claimed at my disposal, was just my "narcissism'.  

A lot of people would see this as total and irrefutable proof that should be taken seriously when I say shut your dumbass mouth, boy.... that I can accomplish so much in.......2 days.   It only took 2 days, and that was after having you steal our time and miss out on a lot of sleep.  

This is why it isn't really an ego trip at all, to tell you what people might say about me. 

I was warning you, and you wanted to choose this path.  I can't stop anyone from making their choices even though you claimed the right to make choices for my wife's mind, which I consider raping my wife, in front of my face.  

I'm the very nice person who just tried to save you from making a grave mistake.  You chose poorly.  Oopth.  

I wonder if you are seeing this, after 20 years of living in the Twilight Zone, wondering what the hell happened on January 10, 2021. You stupid little boy.  You stupid, stupid little boy.  This went live, 4:40 1/10/2021.   

 

Oh my god, it is SO badass getting to be me, and you can watch from your cage and think of me all the time, I mean....might as well.  

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Robert Johnson, the two dimensional 50 year old little boy, imprisoned on the second dimension, who is going to have his assets seized and given to a Cancer charity.  Many people focusing on a specific idea, can accomplish, anything...why not? All of his wealth, to charity.  All of it. 

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I hope that I have adequately explained something that I see as a way out of the collectivistic attitude, that aims at having this communion, and gets taken in  a weird direction because of a fundamental error...and all falls by the wayside past that point.  The INDIVIDUAL experiences what communion really is, with all that exists.....emanations of MYSTERY, and this desire....becomes a parody when ONENESS becomes manifest as the socialist/communist paradigm.  The inversion and parody of ONENESS, everyone is the same.  There is no ONE, but the INDIVIDUAL.  ALL THAT IS SOCIALISM/COMMUNISM is at root, a desire for COMMUNION.  But science and religion both tell us that this world is meaningless.  

The Gnostic attitude.  But I say, the BODY IS NOT A PRISON or PRISN, it is the PRISM of LIGHT. 

                   THIS IS THE ORIGINAL TEXT OF

                      CHRYSTYA DONATION FUND

This resulted in her being treated with love, like she was a real person with feelings, which her family does not consider okay.  They are going to have all their wealth stripped from them, and given to a Cancer charity.....because the power of belief. 

Chrystya, (also known as Cat to many on Maui), is needing so much love right now, she is feeling very scared, betrayed, dejected and traumatized.  She has been diagnosed with a recurrence of breast cancer, I have just returned from dropping her off for surgery. I can't recall ever having felt any sadness that was ever heavy enough to reach below and beyond what I felt walking back to the car after saying I love her, and good luck. 

 

The last few years have been incredibly hard on Chrystya, and as if things weren't bad enough, she is to have her reconstructed breasts removed now.... which is just about the saddest thing in the entire world, and she is extremely disappointed and upset. Not once has she ever acted like a victim or a whiner during this ordeal, and what she can endure without succumbing to bitterness is astounding and she's like....my hero or something, and/or best friend. 

 

She went through so much already, way too much...all at the oncologist's insistence of her being a "great candidate" for the breast reconstruction, and so we went down that road of betrayal.  The oncologist did a terrible job, to say the least, and left too much of the old breast-skin, amongst other causes for a major lawsuit. We have had a Dr. on Maui confirm for her that it was certainly the terrible job the NOLA doc did on her reconstruction which has directly caused her return of cancer, which now requires that everything she had so many major surgeries for, (and many minor), the pain, the sorrow, the long recovery periods; amounts to lost years and pain with nothing gained and feels entirely useless.  To me, this is the saddest thing in the whole world.

We know that  most of you out there are wonderful, and anyone close to a cancer patient or personally experienced it, knows that vulnerability is a magnet for unneeded strangeness..and so I have to clarify and set these boundaries.  This has nothing to do with any sort of "bad karma"....and there are reasons we are tentative about saying anything in public. 

If there is anyone who is the least deserving of such horrific experiences, it is Chrystya.  To keep her from feeling dejected, we have made sure to focus on the idea of a profound initiation, one so fantastic that it requires such a sacrifice from her, in exchange for whatever it is...that cannot be called any kind of "gift".  It is really the only thing to hold to in order to avoid feeling hopeless and like giving up the fight. 

I have set up this page for her, at my own insistence, because our financial situation isn't great, it actually sucks.... and I will be having to really focus on her needs while she recovers.....if anyone can donate to the cause, it would be so wonderful of you....we understand the economic situation, and she is nervous about wanting to share about it with people, for various reasons, so OFFICIALLY: this is entirely my idea.  Because of that, I hope to eliminate as much as I can....the tendency for people to imagine that they are experts about cancer and have the right to tell Chrystya what to do because she's "reaching out". PLEASE---spare her this...I wish I didn't have to mention this, but I do....and am not trying to implicate the majority of you;  everyone with cancer experiences this: unsolicited advice, being considered public property/a child, etc.  It only adds to her suffering, okay? 

She got breast cancer in the first place because of the proven consequences of a conception pill which her mother took, which has now been banned for being linked to a far higher incidence of health problems in the adults who were once the children concieved by it, which includes a far higher percentage of reproductive cancers in women.  That is why she got estrogen positive cancer in the first place, (high nuclear grade carcinoma) and younger women who get cancer, have the most aggressive forms.  She used to work at the Fred Hutch Cancer Research Institute in Seattle, where they research everything about cancer all day long...which certainly IS ironic. 

 

Chrystya has been through absolute HELL because of taking the rebuild surgery option, and everything that could go wrong, DID go wrong.  The doctors and hospital staff made many, many mistakes. She has been left physically disabled. Doctors are amazed and what she went through, and I am always amazed at people who have to use her tragedy as a stepping stone to feeling important, by having "advice" for us.  

The rest of you are beautiful, you know you are. Our lives have been very difficult as it is, and our financial situation is dire; and there is much more contributing to our heartbreak than this recurrence of cancer, it is too much and I would like to see the joy of being alive get to be part of her experience of existing, instead of having pain and sorrow dominate...

Thank you so much for whatever you can do, even if a few supportive words.  We really appreciate your kindness and support.  

Brian Hoffman