THE BIG FOUR
AND ONE IN THE MIDDLE
I'm certain that my position is solid when Chrystya herself would attest to the fact that I have given up my life and been there for her as much as a person could be while withstanding being tortured by her family and having my own physical limitations; and in their mad, mad world....that I won't "just ignore it" makes ME a bad person. It's a very bizarre situation, and there is no use in talking to any of them.
In sum, Chrystya's parents used her tragedy as a stepping stone in their attempt to claim ownership of us once manipulating a situation where it can APPEAR that they have "done so much for us" and present themselves as the victims of us. This involves putting Chrystya in a situation where she can be threatened again and again with having her home taken away from her, after being lied to about what she is supposed to get in exchange for abandoning our independence and resources.
It should have been self-evident that what Chrystya has been through in the last 3 years, being the context for her latest major surgery, and return of cancer, should be regarded as sacred and approached with respect. But no…..
I should not have been needing to console Chrystya, after she was driven into feeling suicidal by her “brother”, who deserves everything that is coming to him for having the audacity to tell my wife she is pathetic because of her victim mentality and comparing her to a "friend" of his that just died from cancer who worked the whole time (you need to work! while in recovery!) days after she had major surgery and was insulted by her parents that needed to turn the moment into a not-to-be missed opportunity to play games about property and money, as the symptom of being up against their inability to feel empathy.
The dumbest thing that anyone should ever do to me, is to kick my wife when she is down…and then refer to me as a "child that needs to take adult responsibilities" (i never consented to being a theatre screen for projections)…especially when this was a passive-aggressive inability to respond to my own contact, where I must have triggered something when reaching out to him explaining that we are not in the best situation because of all that stems from Chrystya’s parents telling her lies about helping her, just to get us to leave New Orleans and our independent situation and resources behind….so that they have a way to torture Chrystya this WHOLE time by stressing her out with threats of kicking her out on the street when she is in deep recovery, and this is after adding a bunch of stress to our lives that goes along with moving when Chrystya needed to be resting.
The big lie, was about “Maui being a peaceful place to heal”, and since the minute we landed….interfering with our marriage, playing games with money (we’re better than you because we have the power to mess with you and waste your time)…and even though I have never asked for a thing from them, ever….or have been given any money, etc……because we are in an apt. that they own, that they purchased for themselves when it was supposed to be this inheritance get-daughter-a-place deal. The idea that they said they were getting her a place is enough, even though not reality, to begin slandering me to anyone dumb enough to listen….which is unfortunately enough people to have my jobs sabotaged here.
I never conceded to them or abnegated my self, yet they seem to believe that a person can have a decision to sell their soul made for them, just as soon as you project your inner child on them when re-enacting a situation that was done to them.
I’m supposed to vacate my body and make room for their unwanted realities, and be feeling FOR them, and be there FOR them…..(these expressions have an underlying grotesgue reality)…when the idea of being here for Chrystya is what I thought to be important. Yet, that changed into “I’m not doing anything to contribute, and am a freeloading gold-digger that doesn’t do anything to help Chrystya” and whatever it takes to make themselves into the tragic victims of us.
Without any consent or being consulted about anything, and being a LOYAL friend of Chrystya that doesn’t go my own way because she got cancer, but sticks around for the whole thing and gets abused for it, I have become “Gregor” in Kafka’s Metamorphosis.
This is such bullshit. Excuse me, but my life will not be steered away from being my own life….so that the real cockroaches have someone that will feel the feelings that they can’t integrate in themselves for them.
There’s nothing like being punished as the perpetrator of the very abuses against us. After experiencing them torment their daughter and I, then I am accused of not helping Chrystya and being untrustworthy. This is not my family, I am not related to them…and they have recently gone way too far, to the point that Chrystya is no longer telling me to not write about her family, because of obvious reasons. It’s her family, it’s embarrassing.
We are faced with acknowledging that they would enjoy a psychotic euphoria from having Chrystya die and I commit suicide. The subject of “epigenetics” is even constantly brought to the table (environmental triggers affect gene expression—like hate!) when Chrystya receives hate mail.
I don’t think so.
They dug their own hole. I am a grown man, and am NOT going to swallow my pride after her “brother” decided at our expense that he needs to take the denial route, as well….since the tragic nature of the situation put him up against his incapacity for empathy, which stems from lacking the strength to heal his wounds from childhood and individuate as an integrated adult with enough response ability to respond to what is going on inside. He needs somewhere for his unwanted inner child to go also, the one that must be integrated to be able to empathize with Chrystya in this situation . He referred to us as children in letters to my wife, (too afraid of me to say this to me directly) --- actually taking the obvious shadow projection and slander seriously, and attacking just days after her major surgery when she is extremely vulnerable and scared.
It was very important to him, to say that Chrystya is "causing all of her problems" with a “victim mentality” and encouraging her to hurry up and die, dumping guilt and shame on her about wanting to have a peaceful recovery period. No! She needs to be working the whole time, just like his "friend" who just recently died from cancer.
Who just recently died from cancer, who had to work the whole time.
So what if you die Chrystya? You need to work! We aren’t taking anything from him, and I would say I don’t get where any of this is coming from, but I do.
Envy. When people are wounded in childhood, some people do the work to get through these things, and other people make a “deal with the devil” to avoid facing anything inside….which takes up a lot of time.
Completely ignore what is going on inside, you have more time to focus on material acquisition. I think I triggered him, explaining the deal with his parents’ insanity as avoiding shadow work and needing to pretend to be superior to hide the inferiority that comes from not taking the path that leads to real happiness, and doing what you are really meant to do with your time on earth…rather than selling your soul for things, earned at a completely meaningless profession. Yeah, that probably did it.
I never had a choice in the matter, I’ve been through so much stuff that my energy levels were so low….the trauma I endured for being smarter than my "family" left me physically crippled and life being the way it is, heal one thing and get traumatized by another.
Chrystya was extremely devastated by being kicked when she was down, at such a time….and this is how you can tell a real victim mentality: kicking someone vulnerable and innocent when they’re down. You have to feel entitled for that, like if you say….identify as a victim.
Nobody that abuses us ever dares say anything to me, knowing what they are in for. Wanting to wear us down and get high from seeing us fail and die, I’m turning this situation around….it has been three years…that began with my own “family” being THRILLED that Chrystya had cancer, Joe Hoffmann, Linda Hendricks Experience, Cole (Not a Diamond)---
I have a lot to write about, keeping it inside is eating me alive.
We will not be disrespected. There is a lot of context and whatnot, so I have to say…..
to be continued……