El Libro De La Vida
The United States of America --- the USA. In Egypt, there was a figure known as “IUSA”, the Egyptian Christ – who must have been like Imhotep, or “he who comes as the number 7" – it is SEVEN which is The Christ – and if you have been unaware of this until now, there is no cause to feel inferior or a sense of shame, fear or anger, or even ENVY and insecurity due to this enounter with knowledge that you likely have not been led to know about prior to this moment....please, I ask you to give me IMMACULATE RECEPTION. This may be the closest thing to "Unconditional Love", which is a concept that I am wary of, to say the least. Immaculate Reception: do not be like the typical man...that man who makes a point of being a man, conscious of needing to be a man to prove that he is a man, rather than what is deemed to be the example of what is NOT a man....and does that equate with woman, boy or -- even a pussy? I embrace being a pussy, while still maintaining a habit of referring to some people, who allow themselves to be penetrated by the will of another, and impregnated with foreign ideas -- as pussies.
Call me a pussy, I will laugh. "Brian IS a girl!!" the women say, before erupting in laughter.....yeah, oh well. "I normally never talk about these things in front of guys, is it okay? Brian.....do you mind?" Before I can answer, "Brian IS A GIRL!!!" I appreciate that a lot, I really do....because my father made a point of letting me and everyone know that I am worth nothing, nobody should acknowledge me.....because I AM NOT A MAN!!! How did he arrive at this? The truth is that I arouse men as much as a beautiful woman can, it is not just my appearance....but my aura, and -- listen to the music I made, by myself (that is extreme dedication and hard work). Men are not pretty and sexually arousing, men WORK!! That is what men do, they work.
Without having this be true at all......."men" will decide on this, because of categorizing me. I must not be a worker, BECAUSE I am "not a man". When I brought "Bettie Page" to my uncle's house, I remember him staring at her with a predatory, lecherous and redfaced way of going about it -- as if, he was thinking about -- wanting her, I could tell she was being objectified...and I was being something, as well. My dad cornered me in the kitchen, with my uncle. He was standing there with his arms folded across his chest, the classic "I am insecure" gesture. He said "Brian doesn't know how to WORK!!!" I am not a man. Well, if I didn't know how to work.....wasn't that your responsibility that you flaked on? It was not true, either....I worked very hard to buy myself my first guitar, which cost 300 bucks at 14 years old....and I worked very hard at wanting to learn. That guitar was my only friend for periods of time...and every day, I kept at it. My dad would say something to get my mom hysterical and violent, and they both really wanted to enable and encourage the situation that always led to terrorizing me....which is what they both were all about, because they were too cowardly for sexual self-expression.
Creative self-expresssion comes from the same places as sexual self-expression -- and, I would not realize it for a long time, that I was TOO ATTRACTIVE -- I recognize how in high school, that I looked awkward and ugly, I believed that I was the ugliest guy in my whole school....unconsciously, I knew my mother was inappropriate....and my dad, a total asshole. I blossomed later, and started being told things like "most redheaded guys are butt fucking ugly, but YOU ARE DROPDEAD GORGEOUS!!!" Oh? Anyway - my parents hated me, they loved to hate me...that is what kept them together -- their marriage was evil and chaos "we stayed together for you kids", he said....and what the hell? I realize he meant "for you kids" as "we have a mutual lust for hurting you as much as possible, knowing we are taking your life from you....and you will suck up to us to give it back to you in tiny portions"....it backfired.
I worked SO HARD at wanting to be able to play guitar like a badass, and -- seeing how much of a focused, driven and ambitious person I was -- without having what I was doing be their idea, my mother would find an excuse to be hysterical and violent -- due to something evil and creepy my dad was doing, which included sexually abusing someone as usual -- and screaming at me. Chasing me around the house, screaming at me....and I would yell "SHUT THE HELL UP!!! WHY CAN'T YOU SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! I CAME DOWN HERE TO GET AWAY FROM YOU, AND YOU FOLLOW ME?'
You don't tell your mother to shut up!!!! She put her weight into it, and slammed into my locked bedroom door over and over again, until breaking it down.....and then TOOK MY BEDROOM DOOR FROM ME, because she is angry that I have that boundary, that I could lock her out of my room because she was screaming at me, since she could tell that I wanted to commit suicide just a little bit less than I wanted to play guitar.
I told her she was a complete bitch and an idiot for doing that, taking my door away to punish me. I was not allowed to have any of the doors in my life that I should have been allowed to have, the doors which were my birthright. She stole the door from me, and then.....responding to me sticking up for myself about the door.....she took my guitar.
She took MY guitar, which I worked very hard for......over the summer, which was extremely physically tiring work....and it was also socially traumatizing for me...because at age 14, it was really easy to make fun of me and taunt me, and I was only able to freeze and not be able to meet torment with a response -- because my parents were very dedicated to initiating violence against me, and punishing me severely if I fought back, if I stuck up for myself. I was very good at fighting back, and extremely strong....but the war for my own mind left me crippled by the time high school years came -- and I was too traumatized, and I was behind socially -- my high school experience, I did not really get to have a high school experience. My parents knew they were taking away from me, what they knew were the most important years of my life.....they were both THE REALLY POPULAR KIDS in high school....and, my dad -- when feeling extremely insecure on his birthday once, made a point of telling this guy who was driving the van for a river rafting trip about being a star football player -- saying that, he and his brothers were "THE KINGS OF THE SCHOOL!!" If anyone did that to me, I would laugh....oh man, so -- you are really one of those guys, who became a shoesalesman...is your wife 500 pounds? (No, she had an extremely hysterical tantrum when it was his birthday, and he had his heart set on taking the whole family out rafting -- he even bought my mom ROSES for his birthday -- but because it was HIS BIRTHDAY -- it wasn't all about her, and it had to be all about her. So....she ruined his birthday, but I -- am a person who has a great deal of empathy, and I felt sad for him.....
"I still want to go, and not let mom ruin your birthday"...and so, we went. He went and got his mother, who he was always comparing my mother with -- He chose someone, on purpose, who was horrible....monstrous, so that no one could be better than his mother. This is the truth about authoritarians. We went.....and he never appreciated that I would care about him. When it was an opportunity to care about me, he stole from me.
My parents KNEW that they were stealing the most important years of my life....and they needed to, because my grandfather left me 40,000 bucks to go to school -- but not for covering food. My grandfather REFUSED to intervene with my mother's severely crazy behavior, because -- I realize now, he literally hated people who had red hair.
"Look at that hair, pfft!!" he would point out my hair and scoff. My parents took away my high school years, so that I would fail at college -- so they could have a reason to make me into the designated scapegoat the whole family could hate -- I regret going, because -- when I did not do well, I was forever unworthy of love, respect or any consideration. I got an opportunity, and threw it away!!!! In class, I was never acknowledged....and I was having major trouble with being able to use my voice, and speak.....I was extremely quiet....with tendencies to be unable to be present.....a result of trauma -- in my own world, where I could compose music -- I extremely badly wanted to play music, and my parents knew it -- so they mocked it, and stole my guitar from me.....regularly. They damaged it. They taught me, that there is no point in working, I am not allowed to keep what I worked for.
"Brian doesn't know how to work!!!" I got together with Bettie Page at 23 -- "WHY ARE YOU! WITH HIM!!!" Because I love him, she said. So...my entire family decided to terrorize my relationship, they couldn't believe that the MOST beautiful woman, the most desirable woman they had ever met, pretty much -- chose me, and I did not have to "work on her until breaking her down" -- she was set on being with me. "Brian doesn't know how to work!!" (What the fuck is going on here? He is not supposed to get to be a man!!! HE is BOY!!!) To this day, our relationship is not recognized....and it was GOOD when she got cancer. My mom, dad, brother and sister wanted her to DIE!! Why? Only because of nothing.
Nothing is dumber than a feminist getting angry at a "fucking dickhead, who demeans female genitals and women when calling someone who is weak 'a pussy'. Men are such dicks, lowlife prick motherfucking assholes!"
"Yeah, they are pricks AND assholes!" So they are okay to insult men and their genitals by referring a mean person who pushes others around as dicks, cocks, pricks, dickheads......tools, while not allowing men to call someone a pussy...or other women, for that matter. What they are essentially saying is that feminism is about recognizing their superiority, that they should be the owners and slavemasters of men, who are secondary to them.
They even take the male vagina, the asshole -- and call a person who talks a lot of shit "that asshole, prick son of a bitch" -- even insulting his mother. "asshole motherfucker" -- yes, violating his mother anally.....that is fantastic.
I continue to call weak and pathetic people "pussies", because if you do not have a sense of humor -- you will hate on this, and as long as women continue to use words for the penis as insults, we should all keep calling out pussies.....and I am willing to embrace being a pussy, myself.....a male warrior being a pussy -- because it is a cat, I am a catlike person. Pussies give birth, and I give birth. I somehow have come to embody female sexuality as much as any beautiful woman who is sex-positive -- creative energy is erotic energy, and it is female sexual energy.
I learned this important truth -- that is why I am treated like "it is for other people" - same as female sexuality, it is for other people. I admire beautiful women who protest pornography and what it does to people -- by going about town nude, while being beautiful....there is no statement made by the ordinary.....no one wants to see that. People want to see the nude beautiful woman, and in a context of -- just going about her day, it needs to be done...and "I support you", that seems like a joke....I would support you by accompanying you, nude myself.....to prove I mean it.
as I tell you that CHRIST is GREEK for "King", Jesus Christ is KING JESUS, then
and I will proceed to show you the nature of Christ.
SEVEN is the number of the GODDESS. The word “GODDESS” is seven letters, and so is RAINBOW. There are esoteric reasons that the rainbow is SEVEN – and do we really find “science” to be trustworthy? That the rainbow is six colors, why should that be? Well…..if you would reduce the dimension of something for a transposition of that thing into the second world where the horrors of the second death await those who succumb to it, the damn fools, you do a “minus one”. I figured this out with other things, and ONCE A SINGLE PERSON CAN KNOW THE PATTERNS, IT IS A GAME OVER!!!!! The knowledge of the patterns, and what is truly going on…….make sure that nobody could know, it is of utmost importance…..as important as, say….oh, how about if someone comes to their prime, realizing that he and his wife seemed to have been guided by The Great Snoogenz (we call our cat “a snoogenz”, so what?)
I will demonstrate to you how pathetic science is. For example, I have a mind which transcends the second dimension – which is found to be a useful servant, such as the mirror that Tezcat uses to apply eye make up, and also to check out what his ass looks like to others. Doin’ pretty good! Tezcat enjoys the mirror, because the mirror always shows him pleasant news. “Hey, elephant dick! Yeah, you buddy!”
“Me?” (blush) there might be a reality to “pretty privilege” – for the most part, it has us going to war for our own cause. Are you serious? “Pretty privilege gets you free drinks!”
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FREE DRINK, YOU ARE EXPECTED TO BE A WHORE FOR THE PRICE OF A PBR, YOU FUCK-UPS. I HATE PEOPLE.